14 Ways Your Relationship With Your Adult Children Improves As They Get Older

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As our kids grow up, we often find that our relationship with them changes in unexpected and wonderful ways.

It’s like watching a caterpillar transform into a butterfly, an evolution that brings new depths and dimensions to your bond. If you’re a parent of adult children, you might already be experiencing some of these positive shifts. If it hasn’t happened yet, it likely will soon — enjoy!

1. Deeper conversations become the norm.

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Gone are the days of simple “How was your day?” chats. As your children mature, they gain life experience, develop their own perspectives, and become more articulate in expressing their thoughts and feelings. This opens up a whole new world of conversations, where you can delve into deeper topics like philosophy, politics, relationships, and personal aspirations.

2. You become friends as well as parent and child.

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As the power dynamic shifts and your children become more independent, your relationship can evolve into a beautiful friendship. You start to see them as individuals with their own unique personalities and interests, rather than just extensions of yourself. This shift can lead to shared activities, inside jokes, and a deeper sense of camaraderie.

3. You gain a newfound respect for their opinions and choices.

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As your children grow older, they make their own decisions, forge their own paths, and form their own opinions. Even if you don’t always agree with their choices, you can’t help but respect their autonomy and the individuals they’re becoming. This newfound respect can strengthen your bond and create a more open and honest dialogue.

4. You start to see them as equals, rather than just your children.

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It can be a bit of a shock at first, but as your children mature, you might start to see them as equals, rather than just your “kids.” They become adults with their own lives, careers, and relationships. This realisation can be both humbling and empowering, as it allows for a more balanced and respectful dynamic in your relationship.

5. They become a source of support and guidance.

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While you might have always been the one offering guidance and support, as your children grow older, the roles can start to reverse. They might offer you advice on career choices, relationship issues, or even technological challenges. This role reversal can be a source of pride and joy, as you witness your children’s wisdom and maturity.

6. Shared experiences create lasting memories.

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As your children become adults, you can start to create new memories together, whether it’s travelling to a new country, attending a concert, or simply enjoying a meal at a favourite restaurant. These shared experiences can strengthen your bond and create lasting memories that you’ll both cherish.

7. You learn to appreciate their unique quirks and personalities.

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As children, we often try to mould our kids into what we think they should be. But as they grow older, their true personalities start to shine through. As a parent, you can start to appreciate their unique quirks, interests, and sense of humour. This acceptance can deepen your connection and make your relationship more enjoyable.

8. You become proud of the adults they’ve become.

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Watching your children grow into responsible, compassionate, and successful adults is one of the greatest joys of parenthood. You can’t help but feel a sense of pride and accomplishment as you witness their achievements and the positive impact they have on the world. This pride can strengthen your bond and create a deeper sense of connection.

9. You develop a deeper sense of empathy and understanding.

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As your children face the challenges and triumphs of adulthood, you gain a deeper understanding of their struggles, joys, and fears. This empathy can create a greater sense of compassion and support within your relationship. You learn to see the world through their eyes, which can broaden your own perspective and deepen your connection.

10. You start to see them as role models and mentors.

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As your children develop their own expertise and knowledge in various areas, you might find yourself turning to them for advice or guidance. They might become your go-to person for tech support, career advice, or even relationship insights. This role reversal can be a source of mutual respect and admiration.

11. You appreciate their independence and self-sufficiency.

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One of the most rewarding aspects of parenting is watching your children become independent and self-sufficient adults. As they navigate their own lives, make their own decisions, and achieve their own successes, you can take pride in knowing that you played a role in their growth and development. This realisation can be both humbling and empowering.

12. You can have more honest and open conversations.

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As the power dynamic shifts and your children become adults, you can have more open and honest conversations about a wider range of topics. You can discuss sensitive issues, share your own vulnerabilities, and offer each other support and guidance without fear of judgment or repercussions. This openness can deepen your connection and create a greater sense of trust and understanding.

13. You can let go of the past and focus on the present.

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As your children grow older, you might find it easier to let go of past hurts and grievances. You might realise that those teenage tantrums or rebellious phases were just a part of their development and that they don’t define who they are today. This forgiveness can pave the way for a more positive and fulfilling relationship in the present.

14. You can develop a stronger sense of family unity and connection.

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As your children become adults, they often become more involved in family gatherings, traditions, and celebrations. This can create a stronger sense of family unity and connection, as you share experiences and create new memories together. You might even find yourself bonding with your children’s partners and children, creating a multi-generational network of love and support.