We’ve all heard the saying, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” But what if you can’t tell who’s who? Sometimes, people who seem friendly might have ulterior motives, and it’s essential to be aware of the signs. Remember, this isn’t about paranoia, but about trusting your gut and looking out for yourself. Here are some subtle red flags that could indicate someone is plotting against you.
1. They frequently talk behind other people’s backs.
If someone constantly gossips about other people to you, it’s likely they’re doing the same about you when you’re not around. This shows a lack of loyalty and respect, and it’s a major red flag that they might not have your best interests at heart. If they’re willing to throw people under the bus, they might do the same to you.
2. They try to isolate you from your friends and family.
Source: Unsplash They might make subtle comments about your loved ones, question their intentions, or try to monopolise your time. This is often a way to gain control over you and weaken your support system. By isolating you, they can manipulate you more easily and prevent you from getting advice or support from other people.
3. They’re overly competitive and try to undermine your successes.
Source: Unsplash They might downplay your achievements, offer backhanded compliments, or try to one-up you. This usually stems from jealousy and insecurity, and it’s a sign that they see you as a threat. They might try to sabotage your efforts or spread rumours to damage your reputation.
4. They’re inconsistent in their behaviour and words.
Source: Unsplash One day, they’re your best friend, showering you with compliments and affection. The next day, they’re cold and distant, and you can’t figure out what you did wrong. This hot-and-cold behaviour is a classic manipulation tactic designed to keep you off balance and make you crave their approval.
5. They’re always trying to get information out of you.
Source: Unsplash They might ask probing questions about your personal life, your work, or your relationships. They might even try to get you to share private information or gossip about people. This could mean that they’re gathering information to use against you later or to manipulate you in some way.
6. They make you feel guilty or indebted to them.
Source: Unsplash They might do you small favours or offer unsolicited advice, but then make you feel like you owe them something in return. This is a classic manipulation tactic designed to make you feel obligated to them and more likely to comply with their requests.
7. They’re constantly testing your boundaries.
Source: Unsplash They might make inappropriate comments, push your buttons, or try to cross lines that you’ve clearly set. This is a way of gauging your reactions and seeing how far they can push you. It’s a sign that they don’t respect you or your boundaries.
8. They’re experts at playing the victim.
Source: Unsplash They might twist situations to make themselves look like the innocent victim, even when they’re clearly at fault. This tactic is designed to garner sympathy and make you feel bad for them. It’s a way of avoiding accountability and manipulating you into taking their side.
9. They try to control your decisions and actions.
Source: Unsplash They might offer unsolicited advice, criticise your choices, or pressure you to do things their way. They might even try to manipulate you with guilt or threats. This is a sign that they don’t respect your autonomy or your ability to make decisions for yourself.
10. They spread rumours or gossip about you.
Source: Unsplash You might hear whispers or notice people treating you differently, but you can’t quite pinpoint the source. This could be a sign that someone is spreading rumours or gossip about you behind your back. This is not only hurtful, but it can also damage your reputation and relationships.
11. They try to sabotage your relationships with other people.
Source: Unsplash They might make snide comments about your friends or family, or try to create conflict between you and your loved ones. They might even try to isolate you from your support system. This is a way of gaining control over you and making you more dependent on them.
12. They’re envious of your success and happiness.
Source: Unsplash They might downplay your achievements, offer backhanded compliments, or express jealousy over your good fortune. This stems from their own insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. It’s a sign that they don’t genuinely want the best for you and might even try to undermine your happiness.
13. They make you feel like you’re always in the wrong.
They might twist your words, gaslight you, or blame you for their own mistakes. This is a way of controlling you and making you doubt yourself. They want you to feel insecure and dependent on their approval.
14. They have a history of betrayal or manipulation.
Source: Unsplash If someone has a track record of lying, cheating, or manipulating people, it’s a red flag that they might not be trustworthy. Pay attention to their past behaviour and how they treat people. If they’ve shown a pattern of dishonesty or deceit, it’s likely they’ll do the same to you.
