Parenting isn’t easy, but some people are so bad at it, you wonder why they decided to have kids in the first place.
While nobody’s perfect, certain practices can seriously harm their children’s immediate and long-term well-being. People who are guilty of these behaviours should have remained child-free, and it’s a real shame that they didn’t.
1. They use guilt as a weapon.
These parents turn guilt-tripping into an art form. They make their kids feel bad for having needs, wants, or opinions that don’t align with their own. “After all I’ve done for you…” becomes a common phrase. They might bring up past sacrifices to manipulate their children into doing what they want. The constant guilt can leave kids feeling like they’re always falling short, no matter what they do.
2. They’re emotionally unpredictable.
One minute they’re all smiles, the next they’re exploding over something tiny. Kids in these homes feel like they’re walking on eggshells, never sure what mood they’ll encounter. So much unpredictability makes it hard for children to feel safe or develop a sense of emotional stability. They might become anxious, always trying to gauge their parent’s mood to avoid setting them off.
3. They play favourites openly.
These parents don’t even try to hide that they prefer one child over another. They might lavish attention and praise on their “golden child” while ignoring or criticising their other kids. Their behaviour can create lasting rifts between siblings and leave the less-favoured children feeling worthless. It sets up a toxic dynamic that can persist well into adulthood.
4. They use love as a bargaining chip.
For these parents, love is conditional. They withhold affection or approval when their kids don’t meet their expectations. “If you loved me, you’d…” becomes a common phrase, and it teaches kids that love is something to be earned, not freely given. It can lead to insecurity and difficulty forming healthy relationships later in life.
5. They invade privacy constantly.
Respect for boundaries? Not in their vocabulary. These parents might read diaries, snoop through phones, or barge into rooms without knocking. They justify it as “just being involved,” but it’s really about control. As a result, kids learn that they’re not entitled to privacy or personal space, which can lead to trust issues down the line.
6. They criticise relentlessly.
Nothing is ever good enough for these parents. Every achievement is met with “but why not better?” They focus on flaws and mistakes, rarely offering praise. The constant criticism can crush a child’s self-esteem and create a perfectionist mindset. Kids might grow up feeling like they’re never quite measuring up, no matter how hard they try.
7. They use physical punishment as a go-to.
These parents believe in “spare the rod, spoil the child.” They turn to hitting, spanking, or other physical punishments to discipline their kids. Not only is this ineffective in the long run, but it can also lead to trauma, aggression, and a cycle of violence. It teaches kids that physical force is an acceptable way to solve problems.
8. They parentify their children.
These parents put adult responsibilities on their kids’ shoulders. They might rely on older children to care for younger siblings or expect their kids to be their emotional support. The blatant role reversal robs children of their childhood and can lead to anxiety, resentment, and difficulty setting boundaries as adults.
9. They dismiss emotions.
“Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about.” Sound familiar? These parents shut down their kids’ emotional expressions, telling them to “toughen up” or “get over it.” It can lead to emotional repression and difficulty processing feelings in healthy ways later in life. Kids learn that their emotions aren’t valid or important.
10. They compare siblings constantly.
“Why can’t you be more like your brother?” These parents pit their children against each other, using comparisons as a motivational tool. Not only does this create unhealthy competition between siblings, but it also teaches kids that their worth is based on how they measure up to other people. It can damage self-esteem and sibling relationships for years to come.
11. They overshare adult problems.
These parents treat their kids like mini-adults, sharing inappropriate details about financial struggles, marital issues, or other adult problems. While it’s okay to be honest with kids about some family challenges, oversharing can create anxiety and a sense of powerlessness. Kids shouldn’t feel responsible for adult problems they can’t solve.
12. They’re always the victim.
No matter what goes wrong, it’s never their fault. These parents have a knack for twisting situations to make themselves the victim, even when they’re clearly in the wrong. This behaviour can gaslight kids into doubting their own perceptions and feelings. It also fails to model accountability, teaching kids to blame other people for their problems.
13. They use threats to control.
“If you don’t do X, I’ll Y.” These parents rely on threats to get their way. They might threaten to withhold basic necessities, kick the child out, or hurt themselves. It creates a fear-based environment where kids comply out of anxiety rather than understanding. It can lead to long-term issues with authority and difficulty making decisions independently.
14. They refuse to apologise.
These parents believe they’re always right, even when they’re clearly not. They never say sorry, even after big blow-ups or obvious mistakes. Their refusal to admit fault or show remorse teaches kids that accountability is unnecessary. It can lead to difficulties with conflict resolution and a lack of empathy in future relationships.
