First dates are usually a mix of excitement and nerves.
You’re hoping for that spark that makes you want to see each other again, but sometimes it doesn’t take much for potential romance to turn into a serious ick. Here are some behaviours that usually cut any possibility of connection off pretty much immediately.
1. They’re rude to the waiter.
Nothing kills the mood faster than watching your date be rude to service workers. If they’re snapping their fingers at the waiter, complaining about everything, or leaving a stingy tip, it’s a massive red flag. Behaviour like this tells you a lot about how they treat people in general, and it’s not a good look. A person who’s kind to service staff, on the other hand, scores major points in the decency department.
2. They can’t stop talking about their ex.
While it’s normal to mention past relationships in passing, constantly bringing up an ex on a first date is a big no-no. Whether they’re still hung up on their former flame or just bitter about the breakup, it’s uncomfortable for you and shows they’re not ready to move on. You want to feel like you’re on a date, not a therapy session. If they can’t stop rehashing old relationship drama, it might be time to make your exit.
3. They’re glued to their phone.
In our connected world, it’s understandable to check your phone occasionally. But if your date is constantly texting, scrolling through social media, or worse, taking calls during your time together, it’s a clear sign they’re not fully present. It’s disrespectful and shows a lack of interest in getting to know you. A date should be about connecting with the person in front of you, not the virtual world. If they can’t put their phone away for a couple of hours, they might not be ready for a real connection.
4. They have poor hygiene.
First impressions matter, and showing up to a date looking (or smelling) like you haven’t showered in days is a quick way to kill any attraction. Bad breath, dirty fingernails, or clothes that look like they’ve been pulled from the bottom of the laundry basket can all give your date the “ick”. It’s not about being perfectly groomed, but basic hygiene shows respect for yourself and your date. If they can’t be bothered to freshen up for a first meeting, it doesn’t bode well for future encounters.
5. They dominate the conversation.
A good conversation is a balance of give and take. If your date is doing all the talking, barely pausing for breath or showing any interest in getting to know you, it’s a red flag. It could indicate self-centredness or social awkwardness. Either way, it’s not setting the stage for a balanced relationship. A date should feel like a dialogue, not a monologue. If you can’t get a word in edgewise, it might be time to say goodbye.
6. They’re overly touchy or pushy about physical contact.
While some light, consensual touching can be nice on a first date, someone who’s constantly trying to make physical contact or pushing for more intimate touches can quickly cross the line into creepy territory. It’s important to respect boundaries, especially when you’re just getting to know someone. If your date can’t keep their hands to themselves or is pressuring you for physical intimacy, it’s not just an “ick” moment — it’s a serious red flag.
7. They lie or exaggerate about themselves.
We all want to put our best foot forward on a first date, but there’s a big difference between highlighting your good qualities and flat-out lying. If you catch your date in obvious fibs or exaggerations about their job, accomplishments, or life experiences, it’s a major turn-off. Not only does it show a lack of confidence in who they really are, but it also raises questions about what else they might be dishonest about. Honesty and authenticity are far more attractive than an embellished version of reality.
8. They’re negative about everything.
Constant complaining or negativity can quickly suck the joy out of any date. If your date is criticising the food, the venue, their job, their friends, or life in general, it creates a gloomy atmosphere that’s hard to shake. While it’s okay to share some frustrations, a first date should generally be light and positive. Someone who can’t find anything good to say might not be in the right headspace for dating. Look for someone who can appreciate the good things in life, even if everything isn’t perfect.
9. They have wildly different values or beliefs.
While it’s great to date people with diverse perspectives, some differences are harder to overcome. If your date expresses views that are completely at odds with your core values — whether it’s about politics, religion, or how to treat people — it can be an immediate turn-off. It’s not about agreeing on everything, but rather about having compatible fundamental beliefs. If you’re constantly cringing at their opinions, it might be a sign that you’re not a good match.
10. They’re too clingy or intense too quickly.
Source: Unsplash While enthusiasm is nice, someone who comes on too strong too fast can be overwhelming. If your date is already talking about your future together, wanting to define the relationship, or bombarding you with messages right after the date, it might give you the “ick”. It’s important to let things develop naturally. Someone who doesn’t understand appropriate pacing might have issues with boundaries or emotional regulation. It’s okay to take things slow and get to know each other gradually.
11. They’re clearly not over their last relationship.
Similar to talking about their ex too much, showing signs of not being over a past relationship can be a major turn-off. This might include constantly checking their ex’s social media during the date, comparing you to their ex, or getting emotional when talking about their past. It’s unfair to start a new relationship when you’re still hung up on an old one. If your date seems to be carrying a lot of baggage from their past, it might be best to steer clear until they’ve had time to heal.
12. They have terrible table manners.
Watching someone eat with their mouth open, talk with food in their mouth, or use utensils like they’ve never seen them before can be surprisingly off-putting. While not everyone needs to dine like they’re at a royal banquet, basic table manners show consideration for other people and self-awareness. If your date’s eating habits make you want to look away, it might be hard to picture future romantic dinners together.
13. They’re obsessed with social media presence.
Source: Unsplash If your date is more concerned with getting the perfect Instagram shot of their meal than actually enjoying it with you, it might give you the “ick”. Constantly checking in on social media, taking selfies, or worse, livestreaming your date, shows a lack of presence and possibly a need for external validation. A date should be about connecting with each other, not with followers online. If they can’t put their social media addiction aside for a few hours, it might be a sign of bigger issues.
14. They’re inconsiderate of your comfort or preferences.
A good date should involve mutual consideration. If your date chooses a restaurant without asking about your dietary preferences, picks a film without considering your tastes, or makes plans without checking if they work for you, it’s a sign they might be self-centred. Even small gestures, like asking if you’re comfortable or if the temperature is okay for you, can make a big difference. Someone who shows consideration for your comfort and preferences from the start is much more likely to be a caring partner in the long run.
