14 Things Shallow People Mistakenly Prioritise In Relationships

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Relationships are pretty nuanced and multi-faceted, and what we value in them can reveal a lot about our character.

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Unfortunately, shallow people tend to focus on superficial aspects rather than deeper connections. While those who are genuinely looking to find their person care about communication, effort, understanding, and love, those who are all about the surface-level focus on stuff that doesn’t really matter. Here are some of the things these people often mistakenly prioritise in their relationships.

1. They focus excessively on physical appearance.

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Shallow people often place disproportionate importance on their partner’s looks. While physical attraction is natural, they tend to prioritise it over other crucial aspects like personality, values, and emotional connection. Such superficial focus can lead to relationships lacking substance and long-term compatibility.

2. They care too much about social status.

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For shallow people, a partner’s social standing or popularity often takes precedence over their character. They may choose relationships based on how they’ll be thought of by other people rather than genuine connection. These misplaced priorities can result in unfulfilling partnerships built on external validation rather than mutual understanding and respect.

3. They overemphasise material possessions.

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Shallow people judge potential partners based on their material wealth or possessions. They often equate expensive gifts or lavish dates with love and affection. Taking such a materialistic approach can overshadow the importance of emotional support, shared experiences, and genuine care in a relationship.

4. They prioritise social media presence.

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Given how attached people are to their phones and the internet, it’s no surprise that shallow people tend to place undue importance on their partner’s social media following or online persona. They may be more concerned with how their relationship appears online than how it functions in reality. Needless to say, focusing on virtual appearances can detract from building a genuine, private connection.

5. They value constant excitement over stability.

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Shallow people often chase the thrill of new relationships or constant excitement, neglecting the value of a stable, deep connection. They may mistake the natural ebb and flow of long-term relationships for boredom, failing to appreciate the comfort and security that comes with a lasting partnership.

6. They prioritise their partner’s career over their character.

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While ambition can be attractive, shallow people put too much emphasis on their partner’s job title or career prospects. They may overlook important personality traits or values in favour of professional success. Such narrow focus can lead to relationships lacking emotional depth and shared values.

7. They overvalue shared interests in trivial matters.

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Shallow people place excessive importance on superficial commonalities, like taste in music or fashion. While shared interests can be enjoyable, they prioritise these over more crucial factors like emotional compatibility, communication skills, and shared life goals. No wonder their relationships often lack substance beyond surface-level connections.

8. They emphasise their partner’s social circle.

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Shallow people judge a potential partner based on who they know rather than who they are. They may prioritise connections that can boost their own social standing or provide perceived benefits. Approaching things from this angle often leads to relationships built on ulterior motives rather than genuine affection and mutual respect.

9. They focus on immediate gratification.

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Shallow people often prioritise short-term pleasure over long-term relationship growth. They may struggle with delayed gratification, always looking for the next thrill or exciting experience. Being so short-sighted can prevent the development of deeper, more meaningful connections that require time and patience to cultivate.

10. They overemphasise physical intimacy.

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While physical intimacy is an important aspect of many relationships, shallow people prioritise it at the expense of emotional intimacy. They may focus primarily on sexual compatibility, neglecting other crucial elements like trust, communication, and mutual support. So much imbalance can lead to relationships lacking depth and emotional connection.

11. They value conformity to societal expectations.

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Shallow people prioritise relationships that fit neatly into societal norms or expectations, regardless of personal compatibility. They may rush into commitments or choose partners based on what they think they ‘should’ want, rather than what truly makes them happy. Of course, conformity can result in unfulfilling relationships that look good on paper but lack genuine connection.

12. They prioritise their partner’s influence or connections.

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Some shallow people tend to choose partners based on who they know or what doors they can open. They may view relationships as networking opportunities rather than chances for genuine connection. Seeing relationships as transactions often leads to partnerships lacking in mutual respect and emotional depth.

13. They overvalue compliments and flattery.

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Shallow people regularly mistake constant flattery for genuine affection. They may prioritise partners who shower them with compliments, even if those words are empty or insincere. Their focus on surface-level praise can prevent the development of relationships built on honesty, constructive communication, and mutual growth.

14. They emphasise grand gestures over consistent care.

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Shallow people often prioritise big, showy displays of affection over consistent, everyday acts of care and support. They tend to value extravagant gifts or public declarations more than reliable emotional support or small, thoughtful gestures. It can lead to relationships that seem romantic on the surface but lack the depth of genuine, day-to-day care and consideration.