When life knocks you down, having the right people around can make all the difference.
There are some people who always know exactly what you need, and they’re there to give it to you without hesitation, sometimes before you’re even aware that you need it. Here are some of the things they do to help you heal.
1. They actually listen to you.
Source: Unsplash If there’s someone in your life who just GETS it, that’s probably because they’re really listening, not just waiting for you to finish so that they can start babbling. They give you their full attention, making you feel heard and understood. They don’t interrupt with their own stories or try to one-up your problems. Instead, they create a safe space where you can express yourself freely. It’s amazing how much better you can feel just by having someone truly listen to you.
2. They validate your feelings.
People who help you heal don’t dismiss your emotions or tell you to “just get over it”. Instead, they acknowledge your feelings and help you understand that it’s okay to feel the way you do. They might say things like, “That must be really tough” or “It’s understandable you feel that way”. Their validation can be incredibly powerful. It helps you accept your emotions rather than fighting them, which is often the first step towards healing.
3. They offer support without trying to fix everything.
Healing helpers know they can’t magically solve all your problems, and they don’t try to. Instead, they offer support in practical ways. Maybe they bring you a meal when you’re too overwhelmed to cook, or they offer to watch your kids so you can have some time to yourself. They’re there for you without trying to take control of your situation. It’s valuable support that enables you to find your own solutions while knowing you’re not alone.
4. They respect your boundaries.
Source: Unsplash People who help you heal understand the importance of boundaries. They don’t push you to talk when you’re not ready, and they respect your need for space when you ask for it. They check in with you, but they don’t hover or become overbearing, and their respect for your boundaries allows you to heal at your own pace, without feeling pressured or overwhelmed. It’s a delicate balance, but they seem to nail it every time.
5. They share their own experiences carefully.
Source: Unsplash They know when to share their own stories and when to just listen. If they do share, it’s not to overshadow your experience, but to show you’re not alone. They might say, “I’ve been through something similar, and I know how hard it can be,” but they always bring the focus back to you. Their stories are meant to offer hope and understanding, not to compete with your pain. It’s this careful sharing that can make you feel less isolated in your struggles.
6. They encourage self-care.
Source: Unsplash People who help you heal know the importance of taking care of yourself. They might gently remind you to eat, sleep, or take a break when you’re pushing too hard. They encourage you to do things that make you feel good, whether that’s going for a walk, reading a book, or having a bubble bath. They understand that healing isn’t just about addressing the big issues; it’s also about nurturing yourself along the way. Their reminders help you put yourself first, even when you’re feeling low.
7. They don’t judge.
Source: Unsplash They create a judgment-free zone. They don’t criticise your choices or make you feel bad about your situation. Instead, they approach your problems with empathy and understanding. They know that healing isn’t a straight path, and they don’t expect you to have it all figured out. Their non-judgmental attitude allows you to be honest about your struggles without fear of criticism. It’s in this safe space that real healing can begin.
8. They offer perspective without minimising your pain.
People who help you heal have a knack for gently offering new perspectives. They might help you see a situation from a different angle, but they never do this in a way that dismisses your feelings. They don’t say things like “It could be worse” or “At least…”. Instead, they might ask questions that help you explore the situation more deeply. This can help you gain new insights without feeling like your pain is being trivialised.
9. They celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
Healing helpers know that every step forward counts, no matter how tiny. They celebrate your progress, even on days when all you managed was to get out of bed. They recognise that healing isn’t linear, and they appreciate the effort it takes to keep moving forward. Their recognition of your small victories can be incredibly motivating. It helps you see your own progress, even on days when you feel like you’re not getting anywhere.
10. They remind you of your strength.
When you’re going through tough times, it’s easy to forget how strong you are. People who help you heal make a point of reminding you. They might point out times in the past when you’ve overcome difficulties, or they might simply tell you they believe in you. Having a reminder of your own strength can be incredibly empowering. It helps you tap into your resilience and face your challenges with more confidence.
11. They’re patient with the process.
Healing takes time, and people who help you heal understand this. They don’t rush you or expect you to bounce back overnight. Instead, they’re patient with the ups and downs of your journey. They stick around even when progress seems slow, offering consistent support, and their patience can be incredibly reassuring. It takes the pressure off and allows you to heal at your own pace, without feeling like you’re letting anyone down.
12. They encourage professional help when they think you need it.
While they happily offer incredible support, they also know their limits. If they think you might benefit from professional help, they’re not afraid to suggest it. They might gently encourage you to consider therapy or offer to help you find resources. They do this not to pass you off, but because they genuinely want what’s best for you. Their willingness to acknowledge when additional support might be helpful shows how much they care about you.
13. They hold space for all your emotions.
People who help you heal don’t shy away from difficult emotions. They’re there for you when you’re sad, angry, scared, or confused. They don’t try to cheer you up or tell you to look on the bright side when you’re not ready. Instead, they sit with you in your pain, letting you know it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. The fact that they accept of all your emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, can be incredibly healing. It helps you process your feelings rather than suppressing them.
14. They remind you that healing isn’t linear.
They understand, as I’ve mentioned several times, that recovery isn’t a straight line. They reassure you that it’s normal to have good days and bad days, steps forward and steps back. When you’re feeling frustrated with your progress, they remind you how far you’ve come. They help you see that setbacks are not failures, but just part of the process. This understanding can be incredibly comforting, especially on those tough days when you feel like you’re back at square one.
