Love means different things to different people, that’s for sure.
However, at its core, it’s about caring for another person wholeheartedly, however that manifests. Sadly, if someone is guilty of these behaviours, they clearly have no idea what love really is. They’ve probably never experienced it, and they’ve certainly never given it to anyone else. How sad is that?
1. They confuse love with possession.
They truly believe that loving someone means owning them. They get super jealous and try to control who their partner talks to or hangs out with. It’s like they can’t grasp that their partner is their own person with their own life. They mistake their possessiveness for caring, but really, it’s just about control.
2. They bail when things get tough.
As soon as the honeymoon phase is over and real-life stuff kicks in, they’re out. They can’t handle the idea that relationships take work. Any sign of conflict or the need to compromise, and they’re already looking for the exit. They’re after the feeling of being in love, not the reality of building a life with someone.
3. They’re always chasing the next thrill.
For them, love is all about the excitement of something new. They’re serial daters, always on the hunt for their next relationship high. The problem is, they mistake that initial rush of attraction for love. Once that fades, they lose interest and move on, never giving real love a chance to grow.
4. They keep score in the relationship.
Everything’s a transaction to them. They remember every favour, every gift, every nice thing they’ve done. And they expect it all to be paid back, with interest. They don’t get that love isn’t about keeping tabs. They turn the relationship into a weird competition instead of a partnership.
5. They avoid all forms of commitment.
They run from anything that feels like settling down. Meeting the parents? Nope. Talking about the future? No way. They claim they’re just “going with the flow,” but really, they’re terrified of real intimacy. They don’t understand that love often involves building something lasting together.
6. They expect their partner to read their mind.
Communication? What’s that? They think if their partner really loved them, they’d just know what they want and need. They sulk or get angry when their unspoken expectations aren’t met. They don’t get that love involves actually talking to each other and being clear about feelings and needs.
7. They think grand gestures replace everyday kindness.
It’s all about the big, showy displays of affection for these people. They might go all out for Valentine’s Day, but they’re MIA when it comes to daily acts of love and support. They don’t understand that real love is in the small, consistent actions, not just the occasional fireworks.
8. They put their partner on a pedestal.
They idealise their partner to an unrealistic degree. They see them as perfect and flawless. While it might seem romantic, it shows they don’t really know what love is about. They’re in love with an idea, not a real person with quirks and flaws. When reality hits, they’re usually not prepared to deal with it.
9. They use love as a bargaining chip.
For them, love is conditional. They’ll say things like, “If you really loved me, you’d do this.” They use their affection as a way to manipulate their partner into doing what they want. They don’t get that real love doesn’t come with strings attached.
10. They’re always looking for something better.
Even in a good relationship, they have one eye on the door. They’re constantly wondering if there’s someone hotter, smarter, or more successful out there. They don’t understand that love involves choosing your person every day, not always chasing the next best thing.
11. They confuse drama with passion.
They think that a relationship needs to be a rollercoaster to be real. Constant fights followed by intense makeups? That’s their idea of passion. They don’t get that true love can be steady and drama-free. They mistake chaos for depth of feeling.
12. They expect their partner to complete them.
They’re looking for someone to fill all the gaps in their life. They think finding “the one” will solve all their problems and make them whole. They don’t understand that love is about two complete individuals choosing to share their lives, not two halves trying to become whole.
13. They can’t handle their partner’s independence.
For these people, love means being joined at the hip. They freak out if their partner wants to do things on their own or maintain their own friendships. They don’t get that healthy love involves supporting each other’s individuality, not smothering it.
14. They give up their entire identity for their partner.
They completely lose themselves in a relationship. They drop all their hobbies, friends, and interests to focus solely on their partner. They think this total devotion proves their love, but really, it shows they don’t understand that love should enhance your life, not replace it entirely.
