Breaking up is hard, and even if you know it’s for the best, that doesn’t mean you can just switch your feelings off for your ex.
Eventually, you should find a way to start processing the relationship so that you can move on. However, not everyone gets there — and it’s possible for complicated feelings to hang around long past their sell-by date. If you’re doing any of these things, you’re clearly still hung up on your ex. It’s time to snap out of it — there are bigger and better things (and people!) out there waiting for you!
1. You stalk their social media profiles.
If you’re constantly checking their Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok, it’s a clear sign you’re not over them. This habit keeps you emotionally connected and prevents you from moving forward. It’s important to recognise that this behaviour can be unhealthy and may be holding you back from healing.
2. Their name pops up in every conversation.
When you can’t help but mention your ex in unrelated conversations, it shows they’re still occupying a massive space in your thoughts. Admittedly, this can be frustrating for friends who are trying to help you move on. Try to be mindful of how often you bring them up, and consider why you feel the need to do so.
3. You compare every new date to them.
If you’re constantly measuring potential partners against your ex, it’s a sign you’re not ready for a new relationship. It’s unfair to new people in your life and indicates you’re still idealising your past relationship. Remember that every person is unique and deserves to be appreciated for who they are, not how they measure up to your ex.
4. You keep mementos of your relationship visible.
Holding on to physical reminders like photos, gifts, or clothing and displaying them prominently suggests you’re not ready to let go. These items keep you emotionally tethered to the past. Consider boxing up these items for now, giving yourself space to heal without constant visual reminders.
5. You drunk text or call them.
Late-night messages or calls after a few drinks are a classic sign you’re not over your ex. Alcohol lowers inhibitions, revealing lingering feelings you might be suppressing when sober. It might be helpful to delete their number or ask a friend to hold on to your phone during nights out to avoid this temptation.
6. You’re hoping to bump into them.
If you tend to hang out in places where you might run into your ex, it’s a sign you’re desperate to reconnect. Not only that, but this behaviour shows you’re not ready to completely cut ties. Try to explore new places and create fresh memories that aren’t associated with your past relationship.
7. You’re still angry or upset about the breakup.
Strong negative emotions point to unresolved feelings. If thinking about your ex or the breakup still brings up intense anger or sadness, you haven’t fully processed the end of the relationship. It might be helpful to journal about these feelings or speak with a therapist to work through them.
8. You fantasise about getting back together.
Daydreaming about reconciliation or creating scenarios where you reunite is a clear sign you’re not over the relationship. It shows you’re still emotionally invested in a future together. Try to focus on the present and set new goals for yourself that don’t involve your ex.
9. You can’t bear to hear about their new relationships.
If news of your ex dating someone new fills you with dread or jealousy, it indicates you’re still harbouring feelings for them. Moving on means being able to accept they’ll have other partners. Remember that their new relationships don’t diminish the value of what you shared or who you are as a person.
10. You’re stuck in a cycle of nostalgia.
Constantly reminiscing about the good times and glossing over the reasons for your breakup keeps you emotionally tied to the past. It prevents you from seeing the relationship realistically. Try to balance your memories by acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of your time together.
11. You haven’t changed your relationship status.
If you’re reluctant to update your social media to “single” or remove couple photos, it suggests you’re not ready to publicly acknowledge the end of the relationship. Consider taking a break from social media if updating your status feels too difficult right now.
12. You’re avoiding dating altogether.
If the thought of meeting someone new feels impossible or wrong, it might be because you’re still emotionally invested in your past relationship. Being open to new connections is a sign of moving on. Take your time, but try to remain open to the possibility of new relationships when you feel ready.
13. You keep their things “just in case”.
Holding on to their belongings with the hope of returning them someday (or secretly hoping they’ll come back for them) shows you’re not ready to close that chapter of your life. Consider setting a deadline for yourself to return or donate these items, allowing yourself to move forward.
14. You still consider them your emergency contact.
If your ex is still the first person you think to call in a crisis, it indicates they still hold a big place in your life. Moving on means building a support system that doesn’t include them. Start by identifying other close friends or family members who can be there for you in times of need.
