You know how important it is to have standards, but are you holding other people (and yourself) to them?
It’s easy for our standards to start slipping when life gets hectic and our focus is elsewhere. However, when that happens, your quality of life inevitably takes a downturn, and it’s not long before it comes back to bite you. Here’s how you know it’s time to re-solidify your boundaries and expectations and start demanding what you deserve.
1. You make excuses for poor treatment.
When someone disrespects you, you brush it off or rationalise it instead of addressing it. Whether it’s a friend cancelling plans last minute or a partner ignoring your needs, you deserve respect. Allowing this behaviour teaches people that it’s okay to treat you poorly. By making excuses, you diminish the importance of your own feelings and experiences.
2. You settle for “good enough” too often.
Whether it’s a lukewarm relationship or a job you’ve outgrown, you’ve stopped striving for better. It’s not that you shouldn’t appreciate what you have, but settling too much can leave you unfulfilled. You deserve to aim for what truly excites and satisfies you. Staying in a place of “good enough” prevents you from realising your full potential.
3. You avoid difficult conversations.
Instead of addressing issues head-on, you let things slide to avoid confrontation. Avoidance might keep the peace temporarily, but it also builds resentment. Standing up for yourself in a respectful way shows everyone around you that your boundaries matter. Difficult conversations can lead to better understanding and stronger relationships if approached thoughtfully.
4. You’re always giving more than you’re receiving.
In relationships, you’re the one putting in all the effort, whether it’s emotional support, time, or energy. While generosity is a beautiful thing, relationships should be balanced. Constantly overextending yourself leads to burnout and feeling undervalued. Your needs are just as important as the effort you give to other people.
5. You tolerate toxic behaviour.
You let things like passive-aggressive comments, backhanded compliments, or outright disrespect slide, hoping they’ll stop on their own. Allowing toxicity sends the message that it’s acceptable. You deserve to surround yourself with people who lift you up, not bring you down. Accepting toxic behaviour normalises it, making it harder to break free from those patterns.
6. You let boundaries slip for everyone else’s sake.
Whether it’s answering work emails at midnight or saying yes to plans you don’t want to attend, you put other people’s needs above your own. Healthy boundaries are essential for your well-being and teach people to respect your time and energy. Consistently ignoring your boundaries can lead to feeling depleted and resentful.
7. You lower your expectations to avoid disappointment.
Instead of expecting the best, you tell yourself it’s easier to lower the bar so you won’t get hurt. While it might seem like a protective measure, it often leaves you stuck with less than you deserve. High expectations encourage better outcomes and self-respect. Lowering your standards eats away at your confidence in what you’re capable of achieving.
8. You let people off the hook too easily.
When someone lets you down, you’re quick to forgive without holding them accountable. While forgiveness is important, so is addressing the issue to prevent it from happening again. Accountability strengthens relationships and builds mutual respect. Allowing people to avoid accountability sends the message that their actions have no real consequences.
9. You accept less than you know you’re worth.
Whether it’s in a job offer, a friendship, or a romantic relationship, you’ve started settling for less than you know you deserve. It’s okay to want more—you’re not being unreasonable for expecting to be valued. Your worth should never be up for debate. Accepting less chips away at your sense of self-worth over time.
10. You ignore red flags.
In relationships or situations, you notice things that don’t feel right but choose to overlook them. Ignoring these signs only leads to bigger problems down the road. Trusting your instincts and addressing red flags early can save you a lot of heartache. When you ignore red flags, you risk staying in unhealthy or damaging situations for far too long.
11. You’re more focused on pleasing other people than yourself.
Your decisions are driven by what will make everyone else happy, even if it means sacrificing your own needs or desires. While it’s great to care for other people, your happiness matters too. Learning to prioritise yourself is a form of self-respect. Constantly putting other people’s happiness first leaves little room for your own growth and fulfilment.
12. You’ve stopped dreaming big.
You’ve replaced your ambitious goals with safer, more attainable ones because you’re afraid of failure or rejection. Playing small doesn’t protect you; it just limits your potential. Dreaming big reminds you of what you’re capable of achieving. Letting go of big dreams robs you of the excitement and motivation that comes from pursuing meaningful goals.
13. You accept apologies without changed behaviour.
Someone says sorry, but their actions stay the same, and you let it slide. An apology without real effort to improve doesn’t mean much. Expecting follow-through shows that you value action over empty words. Requiring change after an apology ensures that respect and trust can be rebuilt.
14. You’ve started ignoring your gut feelings.
Deep down, you know when something isn’t right, but you convince yourself it’s no big deal or that you’re overreacting. Your instincts are there for a reason—they’re your inner compass. Listening to them can guide you toward better choices and stronger boundaries. Trusting your gut helps you avoid situations that don’t align with your values or well-being.
