Your husband might not come straight out and say disparaging things about women, but that doesn’t make him a feminist.
Sadly, even well into the 21st century, many men hold misogynistic views that are so engrained in them, they often don’t realise they have them. However, if he behaves in these ways, it’s clear he doesn’t quite view you as an equal and has some unconscious (or conscious!) biases about women that need addressing — and changing — ASAP.
1. He constantly interrupts you.
If he regularly cuts you off mid-sentence, it might be more than just a bad habit. Consistently interrupting shows he may not value what you have to say or see your voice as equal to his own. It might not seem like a big deal, but over time, it can destroy your confidence in expressing yourself openly.
2. He “jokingly” puts you down.
Humour is usually a good thing to have, but if his jokes regularly target you or other women in a negative way, it might be masking something more serious. Teasing that leaves you feeling small or uncomfortable isn’t harmless, and it might reflect deeper beliefs about women. When jokes come at your expense, they start chipping away at trust and respect.
3. He makes comments about “women’s roles.”
Remarks about what women “should” or “shouldn’t” do can reveal underlying biases. Statements like “That’s a man’s job” or “Women aren’t good at that” are limiting and outdated, but they can easily slip into daily conversations. If he believes women are best suited for certain roles, it’s a sign he doesn’t see you as his equal.
4. He dismisses your opinions on “male topics.”
If he ignores your thoughts on things he considers “men’s business,” it’s worth noting. It implies he doesn’t think your perspective holds value in those areas or that he views you as less knowledgeable by default. In a healthy relationship, both partners respect and value each other’s input, no matter the topic.
5. He expects you to handle all household duties.
If he assumes certain chores are “your job” just because you’re a woman, it can show a narrow view of gender roles. Household responsibilities work best when they’re shared fairly, based on what works for both of you—not outdated ideas. A partner who respects you doesn’t place certain expectations on you simply because of your gender.
6. He’s uncomfortable with you being more successful.
Does he downplay your achievements or seem irritated when you reach new milestones? This kind of reaction might mean that he’s struggling with the idea of a woman excelling in ways he might not. A supportive partner celebrates your successes wholeheartedly and isn’t threatened by your accomplishments.
7. He often criticises your appearance.
If he’s regularly pointing out things he’d like you to change about how you look, it may indicate he values you more for appearance than personality. Respect means appreciating you for who you are, not just how you look or present yourself. It can seriously tank your self-esteem and make you feel like you’re never enough.
8. He makes assumptions about your emotions.
If he dismisses your feelings as “hormonal” or “overly emotional,” it’s a way of not taking you seriously. Reducing your feelings to stereotypes prevents real understanding and can leave you feeling invalidated. Your emotions are real, and they deserve to be heard and respected.
9. He talks over women in social settings.
Notice if he often cuts off or ignores women in group conversations, especially when there are men around. It might mean that he values men’s contributions more than women’s, even if he doesn’t realise it. In inclusive settings, everyone’s voice deserves equal respect and space.
10. He thinks you need his “guidance.”
If he often tries to explain simple things or “teach” you topics you already know, it can feel condescending. Assuming you need help without asking shows he may not see you as his intellectual equal. A respectful partner trusts your abilities and supports your independence.
11. He dismisses concerns about women’s issues.
If he brushes off issues like gender equality, pay gaps, or other challenges women face, it might show a lack of empathy or understanding. A supportive partner listens to these concerns, even if they don’t directly affect him. Your experiences and the experiences of other women matter, and they deserve acknowledgment.
12. He gets uncomfortable when you’re assertive.
Confidence should be encouraged, but if he’s put off by you speaking up, it’s a red flag that he might hold more traditional views on gender roles. Feeling threatened by assertiveness can reveal outdated ideas about women needing to be “soft” or “quiet.” Assertiveness is part of a healthy relationship, and you deserve to be yourself.
13. He expects praise for “helping” at home.
If he views household tasks as favours to you, rather than shared responsibilities, it could indicate he sees them as “your job.” Contributing to the home isn’t a special favour; it’s part of being in a partnership. Shared effort helps create balance and shows he respects your role just as much as his own.
14. He undermines your parenting decisions.
If he often second-guesses or dismisses your choices as a parent, it suggests he doesn’t value your instincts and experience. Parenting should be a team effort, with equal respect for each person’s input, even when you disagree. Both partners deserve a voice in important decisions, and mutual respect helps build a solid family foundation.
