Everyone deserves love, but not everyone is that great at receiving it.
Whether you have unresolved trauma from past relationships, lack self-worth, or simply don’t know what it means to be in a healthy partnership, you might be putting unnecessary hurdles in the way when it comes to your relationship. If you relate to these behaviours, you’re harder to love than you should be. You have so many amazing qualities and have so much to give — let those things show!
1. You struggle to admit when you’re wrong.
We all like to be right, but if you can’t remember the last time you admitted you were wrong, it could be a problem. Refusing to take responsibility can make a partner feel unheard and frustrated. Being open to the possibility of fault shows maturity and respect. No one wants to feel like they’re always fighting against an unyielding wall.
2. You rarely apologise first.
If you’re the type who waits for the other person to apologise, even when you know you could have made the first move, it can create tension. Apologising shows that you’re willing to put pride aside. Always waiting for someone else to take the first step can leave your partner feeling undervalued. Sometimes a simple “I’m sorry” is all it takes to keep things moving forward.
3. You hold grudges.
Grudges can be a heavy burden, but some people just can’t seem to let go of past wrongs. If you find yourself bringing up old arguments long after they’ve passed, it may be holding both of you back. Holding grudges adds weight to the relationship and makes the present feel like a minefield. Letting go of the past can make it easier for both of you to feel connected.
4. You need constant reassurance.
Everyone needs a little reassurance now and then, but if you find yourself always asking if everything’s okay, it can be exhausting for your partner. Constantly looking for validation might come off as insecurity, which can be draining. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual confidence and trust. A little independence can be refreshing for both of you.
5. You’re quick to criticise.
Noticing flaws is one thing, but if you’re always pointing out what your partner could do better, it’s easy for them to feel like they’re walking on eggshells. Criticism, even when it’s “just being honest,” can hurt. Balancing feedback with encouragement helps keep things positive. A little gentleness can go a long way in making both of you feel appreciated.
6. You find it hard to compromise.
If it’s your way or the highway, things can get tricky fast. Refusing to meet in the middle can leave your partner feeling powerless or ignored. Compromise isn’t about giving up; it’s about working together. Relationships are smoother when both people feel heard and respected.
7. You keep your feelings bottled up.
Some people avoid conflict by keeping things inside, but that usually only works for so long. Holding back your feelings can make small problems grow until they explode. Sharing your thoughts and emotions helps your partner understand you better. Opening up might feel uncomfortable, but it builds trust and connection.
8. You’re overly independent.
Being independent is great, but if you always act like you don’t need anyone, it can push your partner away. Relationships are about sharing life, not living parallel ones. Allowing someone in doesn’t mean losing yourself—it just means letting someone share the load. A little vulnerability can deepen the bond between you.
9. You have high expectations.
There’s nothing wrong with having standards, but if your expectations are sky-high, it might leave your partner feeling like they can’t measure up. Sometimes, perfectionism in relationships can lead to disappointment. Remembering that no one is perfect, including you, can make things feel more relaxed. Real connections are built on accepting each other’s imperfections.
10. You’re easily irritated by small things.
If you find yourself getting annoyed by little habits or quirks, it can make the relationship feel tense. Everyone has their little “things,” and reacting strongly can make your partner feel they’re not enough. Accepting small flaws is part of loving someone. When you focus on the bigger picture, the small stuff doesn’t seem as important.
11. You struggle with jealousy.
It’s natural to feel a bit of jealousy now and then, but if it’s something you deal with often, it can strain the relationship. Constantly needing reassurance or feeling insecure about your partner’s interactions can become overwhelming. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Working through jealousy can bring a lot more peace to both of you.
12. You expect them to read your mind.
It would be nice if partners could know exactly what you’re thinking, but it’s rarely that simple. Expecting them to guess your feelings or needs can lead to misunderstandings. Being open about what you want or need makes things easier on both of you. Clear communication takes the guesswork out of love.
13. You struggle to show affection.
Some people find it hard to express affection, but it’s an important part of making a partner feel loved. If you often hold back physical or verbal affection, it might leave them feeling distant. Showing love in small ways, even if it doesn’t come naturally, strengthens the connection. Affection is one of the ways we remind each other that we’re appreciated.
14. You’re focused on changing them.
Seeing potential in someone can be a good thing, but if you’re constantly pushing them to change, it can feel like rejection. It’s one thing to encourage growth, but it’s another to make them feel they’re not good enough as they are. Love grows best when it’s based on acceptance. Embracing your partner as they are can make your relationship much more fulfilling.
