Friendships are a vital part of our lives, but we often end up drifting apart from people we once considered close.
While life changes and growing apart are natural, there are often behaviours and habits within our control that can play a part in the loss of friendships. If you recognise any of these actions, the lack of connection that creeps into many of your friendships could largely be down to you.
1. You’re always “too busy” to meet up.
Source: Unsplash Constantly cancelling plans or claiming you’re too swamped to catch up sends a clear message that your friends aren’t a priority. Even if you genuinely have a hectic schedule, failing to make time for your mates can lead to them giving up on trying to see you. Remember, relationships need nurturing to thrive.
2. You dominate every conversation.
If you end up doing all the talking whenever you’re with friends, it might be time to take a step back. Monopolising conversations and constantly steering topics back to yourself can be exhausting for people. Friends want to feel heard and valued, not like they’re an audience for your monologues.
3. You’re overly critical of everything and everyone.
While honesty is important, constant negativity can be draining. If you’re always pointing out flaws in people, situations, or experiences, your friends might start avoiding you to escape the negativity. Try to balance critique with appreciation, and remember that not every thought needs to be voiced.
4. You never initiate contact or plans.
Friendships are a two-way street. If you’re always waiting for other people to reach out or make plans, they might eventually stop trying. Take initiative sometimes — suggest a meetup, send a text, or give them a call. Showing that you value the friendship enough to put in effort goes a long way.
5. You’re unreliable and frequently bail at the last minute.
Consistently cancelling plans or showing up late demonstrates a lack of respect for your friends’ time. If people can’t count on you to follow through, they might stop including you in their plans altogether. Strive to be dependable, and if you genuinely can’t make it, give plenty of notice.
6. You overshare on social media but ignore direct communication.
Posting every detail of your life online while ignoring texts or calls can make friends feel disconnected. They might question why they’re hearing about your life through a screen rather than directly from you. Remember that real connections happen through personal interactions, not just likes and comments.
7. You’re always borrowing money or favours without reciprocating.
Constantly asking for help or financial support without ever returning the favour can strain friendships. While true friends are there in times of need, if you’re always on the receiving end, people might start to feel used. Make an effort to give back and show appreciation for their support.
8. You gossip excessively about mutual friends.
Talking behind other people’s backs might seem like a way to bond, but it often backfires. Not only does it create a toxic environment, but it also makes people wonder what you’re saying about them when they’re not around. Focus on positive conversation topics that don’t involve tearing people down.
9. You’re competitive about everything.
Turning every interaction into a competition can be exhausting for friends. Whether it’s always one-upping their stories or trying to outdo their achievements, constant competitiveness can make people feel inadequate or annoyed. Learn to celebrate your friends’ successes without comparison.
10. You refuse to apologise or admit when you’re wrong.
Stubbornness and an inability to acknowledge mistakes can damage friendships. If you never take responsibility for your actions or apologise sincerely, friends might find it difficult to resolve conflicts with you. Practice humility and be willing to admit when you’ve messed up.
11. You’re always asking for advice but never taking it.
Constantly asking for guidance but ignoring the advice given can be frustrating for friends. If you repeatedly come to them with the same problems without ever acting on their suggestions, they might feel like their efforts are wasted. Be open to actually considering and implementing the advice you receive.
12. You make promises you can’t keep.
Overpromising and underdelivering destroys trust in friendships. Whether it’s swearing you’ll be there for a big event or promising to help with a task, failing to follow through damages your reliability. Be realistic about what you can commit to, and make sure to keep your word.
13. You avoid deep or serious conversations.
While light-hearted fun is important, friendships also need depth to thrive. If you constantly deflect when conversations turn serious or avoid discussing anything beyond surface-level topics, friends might feel like they can’t truly connect with you. Be willing to engage in meaningful discussions and show emotional support.
14. You’re always on your phone when hanging out.
Source: Unsplash Constantly checking your phone or scrolling through social media when spending time with friends sends a clear message that you’re not fully present. This behaviour can make people feel unimportant and ignored. Make an effort to be fully engaged when you’re with friends, putting away distractions to focus on the moment.
