You love your friends, so it makes sense that other people love them too — they’re pretty great, right?
However, despite knowing how amazing they are, you can’t help but feel a bit annoyed by the fact that they hang out with other people sometimes. You know it’s a bit weird and kind of immature, but you can’t lie and pretend that’s not the truth. But why does it happen? Here are a few reasons.
1. You want to be their first choice.
It stings a little when you realise you’re not always the top pick. Knowing they might choose someone else for plans feels like you’re sharing your VIP spot. We all want to feel like we’re number one in our friends’ lives.
2. They start sharing inside jokes you’re not a part of.
When they start quoting jokes or referencing moments you weren’t there for, it’s hard not to feel left out. Hearing them laugh about something you don’t get can make you feel like an outsider. Inside jokes remind you that they have shared experiences beyond you.
3. You have to wait for them to respond to your texts.
If they’re busy texting with someone else, your messages might sit unread for longer. The wait makes you wonder who’s taking up their time. It’s frustrating not to be the first person they reply to, especially when you have news to share.
4. They go to places you wanted to try—without you.
Seeing them at that new café or event you’d mentioned feels like a mini betrayal. It’s tough watching them make memories in spots you suggested. You can’t help but think, “That was supposed to be our thing!”
5. You’re no longer their only “go-to” person.
When they start calling someone else for advice or comfort, it’s a little hard to swallow. Knowing they have someone else to lean on can make you feel like your role in their life is shrinking. You want to be the one they turn to first.
6. Their social media is filled with photos of them with other people.
Seeing them tagged in photos with other friends can sting, especially if you’re not there. It’s a reminder that they have fun, happy times without you. Social media has a way of highlighting just how much they enjoy other friendships too.
7. They tell stories that start with “I was with so-and-so…”
Every time they mention a story that involves another friend, it’s a reminder that they’re making memories with other people. Hearing these tales makes you feel like you’re missing out on parts of their life. It’s hard to feel fully connected when there are gaps in the stories.
8. They celebrate milestones with other friends too.
When they have multiple celebrations with other friends for their birthday or big news, it can feel a little hurtful. You want to be the one they share the special moments with first. It’s hard sharing the spotlight with other people in their life.
9. You notice they’ve picked up new habits from their other friends.
If they start using phrases or gestures you’ve never seen, it’s a clear sign they’re spending a lot of time with other people. Watching them change or adopt new things from someone else can make you feel like you’re being left behind. You miss the version of them that felt like “yours.”
10. You miss the days when it was “just the two of you.”
Remember when you were each other’s one and only? Seeing them with other friends makes you nostalgic for simpler times. It’s hard not to miss when your friendship felt exclusive and totally unique.
11. You worry they’ll replace you.
Deep down, there’s a fear that they’ll find someone else who understands them better. Seeing them with other people can bring up insecurities about your place in their life. Even though you know it’s irrational, it’s hard not to worry.
12. You don’t love sharing “your” friend with someone else.
They’re your friend first, so it’s weird seeing them bond with other people in ways you thought were unique to your friendship. Watching them have fun with someone else can make you feel like you’re losing something special. You want the friendship to feel just a little bit exclusive.
13. You feel out of the loop when they mention other plans.
When they casually mention plans with other friends, it’s a reminder that you’re not always part of their schedule. Hearing about events you weren’t invited to can make you feel left out. It’s hard to share their time, especially when you want to be there for all of it.
14. You feel guilty for feeling this way.
Above all, it’s tough because you want to support their other friendships without feeling jealous. It’s frustrating when these feelings pop up, even though you know they’re normal. Balancing happiness for them with your own feelings isn’t always easy.
