If you’ve ever come home from a work ‘do or even a casual hangout with friends feeling a bit blah, you’re not alone.
Lots of people love socialising, but after it’s over, they can’t help feeling a bit down, and like they don’t measure up to the people they were spending time with. If being around other people often leaves you feeling inadequate, here’s what may be going on.
1. Everyone seems to have their life together except you.
It’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind when your friend group is full of high achievers. Maybe someone just got a promotion, another friend is planning their dream wedding, and another just bought a house. Meanwhile, you’re still trying to figure out how to cook something other than beans on toast. Remember, people often put their best foot forward in social situations, and you’re probably doing better than you think.
2. You struggle to keep up with the conversation.
Maybe you feel like you’re always a step behind in group chats. Whether it’s pop culture references you don’t get or inside jokes you weren’t there for, it can be frustrating to feel out of the loop, but don’t beat yourself up. It’s impossible to be on top of everything, and it’s okay to ask for explanations or change the subject to something you’re more familiar with/aligns better with your own interests.
3. Your achievements seem small in comparison.
When your friend is talking about their recent promotion and all you can think about is how you finally managed to keep a plant alive for more than a week, it’s natural to feel a bit inadequate. However, progress is progress, no matter how small. Your achievements are valid, even if they don’t seem as impressive in the moment.
4. You feel like you’re not funny enough.
If you’re not the life of the party or the one cracking jokes that have everyone in stitches, it’s easy to feel like you’re not contributing enough to the group dynamic. Still, being a good listener is just as valuable as being entertaining. Not everyone needs to be the comedian in the group.
5. Your social media presence doesn’t match up to other people’s.
Source: Unsplash In the age of Instagram and TikTok, it can feel like everyone else is living their best life while you’re just… living. But remember, social media is a highlight reel, not reality. That person with the perfectly curated feed probably has just as many mundane moments as you do — they just don’t post about them.
6. You’re not as well-travelled as your friends.
When conversation turns to exotic holidays and gap year adventures, it’s easy to feel like a bit of a homebody if you haven’t ventured far from your hometown. But travel isn’t the only way to gain life experience. Your local adventures and experiences are just as valid and interesting.
7. Your job doesn’t sound as impressive as other people’s.
It’s hard not to compare when your friend is saving lives as a doctor and you’re… well, not. But every job has value, and your worth isn’t determined by your career. Plus, that impressive-sounding job probably comes with its own set of stresses and downsides that you don’t see.
8. You feel like you’re not as physically fit as everyone else.
When your mates are talking about their latest marathon or CrossFit achievements, and your idea of exercise is walking to the corner shop, it’s natural to feel a bit inadequate. However, health and fitness look different for everyone. Your well-being is what matters, not how you compare to other people.
9. You’re not as up-to-date on current events as other people seem to be.
If political discussions or debates about world events leave you feeling out of your depth, you’re not alone. It’s impossible to keep up with everything happening in the world. It’s okay to admit when you’re not familiar with a topic and use it as an opportunity to learn.
10. Your love life (or lack thereof) makes you feel behind.
Whether you’re single in a sea of couples or the only one who isn’t married with kids, relationship status can be a source of insecurity. You have to remember that there’s no universal timeline for love and relationships. Your journey is your own, and being at a different stage doesn’t make you any less valuable or interesting.
11. You feel like your hobbies aren’t as cool or productive as other people’s.
When your friend is talking about their handmade furniture and home-grown vegetables, and your hobby is binge-watching Netflix, it’s easy to feel a bit unaccomplished. However, hobbies are about enjoyment, not impressing other people. If it makes you happy, it’s worthwhile.
12. You’re not as tech-savvy as your peers.
In a world that seems to revolve around the latest gadgets and apps, feeling technologically behind can be uncomfortable. Being able to use the latest tech isn’t a measure of intelligence or worth, though. There’s value in other forms of knowledge too.
13. Your financial situation isn’t as stable as other people’s seem to be.
Money talk can be a major source of inadequacy. When other people are discussing investments and property while you’re still trying to master budgeting, it’s natural to feel a bit behind. You’re failing to acknowledge that financial situations are complicated and often private. What looks good on the surface might not tell the whole story.
14. You feel like you’re not as emotionally mature or ‘together’ as other people.
If you find yourself marvelling at how put-together and emotionally balanced your friends seem, while you feel like a mess inside, you’re not alone. However, everyone has their own struggles and insecurities. What matters is that you’re working on yourself, at your own pace.
