Ever dealt with someone who always seems to have you second-guessing yourself? Someone whose words and actions don’t quite add up, leaving you feeling confused and unsure? Chances are, you’ve encountered a master manipulator. These folks are skilled at playing psychological games to keep you trapped in their web of deceit. Here are some of their most common tactics so you can recognise them and break free.
1. Gaslighting
This is the big one. Gaslighting is when someone makes you doubt your own sanity, memory, or perception of reality. They might deny saying or doing things, even if you have clear evidence to the contrary. They might accuse you of being “crazy” or “imagining things.” Over time, this constant manipulation can damage your self-confidence and make you more dependent on them for validation.
2. Triangulation
Source: Unsplash Liars love to bring in a third party to create conflict and confusion, Psych Central explains. They might flirt with someone else in front of you, compare you to their ex (in a bad way, of course), or confide in a friend about your “problems” to make you feel insecure and jealous. This is a classic tactic to divide and conquer, making you feel like you’re constantly competing for their attention and affection.
3. Projection
Instead of taking responsibility for their own shortcomings, they’ll project their flaws onto you. If they’re dishonest, they’ll accuse you of lying. If they’re cheating, they’ll accuse you of being suspicious. This is a way to deflect blame and make you feel like you’re the problem, not them.
4. The silent treatment
Ever been on the receiving end of the silent treatment? It’s a passive-aggressive way to punish and control you. By withdrawing their attention and affection, they make you feel anxious, guilty, and desperate to win back their approval. This is a classic manipulation tactic that can be incredibly effective in making you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
5. Baiting and switching
They’ll lure you in with kindness and charm, only to turn around and criticise or demean you. This emotional rollercoaster leaves you confused and off balance, constantly trying to please them and avoid their disapproval. It’s a way to keep you emotionally invested and dependent on their validation.
6. Love bombing and devaluation
Source: Pexels This is a common pattern in narcissistic relationships. In the beginning, they shower you with love, attention, and affection, making you feel like you’re the most special person in the world. But once they’ve hooked you, they slowly start to devalue you, criticising your appearance, your choices, and your worth, Verywell Mind explains. This creates a cycle of emotional highs and lows, keeping you hooked on the crumbs of affection they occasionally throw your way.
7. Guilt-tripping
Liars often use guilt as a weapon to control you. They might remind you of past favours, exaggerate their sacrifices, or make you feel responsible for their happiness. They’ll use your empathy and kindness against you, making you feel obligated to give them what they want, even if it goes against your own needs and desires.
8. Minimising and dismissing
When you try to express your feelings or concerns, they’ll often minimise or dismiss them. They might say things like, “You’re overreacting,” “It’s not a big deal,” or “You’re just too sensitive.” This invalidates your emotions and makes you doubt your own perception of reality, making it easier for them to continue their manipulative behaviour.
9. The blame game
A liar thrives on making you feel responsible for their actions. They’ll twist narratives to make it seem like their deceit is a direct result of something you did or didn’t do. Did you not trust them enough? Were you too demanding? By shifting the focus onto your perceived flaws, they deflect from their own dishonesty and make you question your own role in the situation.
10. The dangle
This manipulative tactic involves putting you in a no-win situation. They might offer you two choices, both of which are undesirable or harmful. For example, they might say, “If you love me, you’ll forgive me for lying, but if you don’t forgive me, it means you don’t love me.” This creates a sense of confusion and guilt, making it difficult for you to make a clear decision or assert your own needs.
12. The smokescreen
Liars often create diversions to distract you from their deceit. They might start a fight over a trivial matter, bring up unrelated issues, or even accuse you of things you didn’t do. This creates chaos and confusion, making it harder for you to focus on the real issue at hand: their dishonesty. It’s a way to muddy the waters and make it difficult for you to see clearly.
13. The moving target
When confronted with their lies, they might change their story, deny what they previously said, or even shift the blame onto someone else. This constant shifting of the goalposts can make it impossible for you to get a straight answer or hold them accountable. It’s a frustrating tactic that can leave you feeling like you’re chasing your tail.
14. Future faking
To keep you hopeful and invested, they might make grandiose promises about the future. They might talk about marriage, children, or exotic vacations, painting a picture of a perfect future together. This gives you something to hold on to, a reason to stay in the relationship despite their lies and manipulations. But be wary, these promises are often empty and never materialise.
