There’s no one way to be a good parent, but the experience certainly changes you in ways you likely never anticipated.
While there’s plenty of helpful (and not so helpful!) advice out there about how to raise amazing kids, it feels like there’s a distinct lack of acknowledgement of just how challenging the realities of trying to take care of little people and turn them into kind, empathetic, intelligent adults can be. People might not talk about these parenting truths, but if you have children of your own, you’ll know just how real they are.
1. Your house will never be truly clean again.
Remember those days when you could keep your living space spotless? Kiss them goodbye. With kids around, there’s always a toy underfoot, a mysterious sticky patch on the kitchen floor, or crumbs in places you didn’t even know existed. You’ll find yourself wondering how such small humans can create so much chaos. Prepare to be living in a perpetual state of “I just cleaned this five minutes ago!”
2. Sleep becomes a luxury you can’t afford.
Gone are the days of sleeping in or enjoying uninterrupted nights. Whether it’s a newborn’s feeding schedule or a toddler’s nightmares, your sleep will be constantly disrupted. You’ll develop a superpower of functioning on minimal rest, fuelled by coffee and sheer willpower. The phrase “I’ll sleep when they’re older” becomes your mantra, even though you know it’s probably a lie.
3. Your body will change in ways you never imagined.
Pregnancy and childbirth are just the beginning. Your body will continue to surprise you long after the baby arrives. From hair loss to changes in shoe size, parenting leaves its mark. You might discover muscles you never knew existed from carrying a growing child, or develop an uncanny ability to function with one arm while holding a baby with the other.
4. You’ll become an expert in bodily fluids.
Poo, wee, vomit, snot — you name it, you’ll deal with it — and not just deal with it, but discuss it at length with other parents. You’ll end up having detailed conversations about the colour and consistency of your child’s nappies without batting an eyelid. It’s gross, but it becomes your new normal.
5. Your social life will take a dramatic turn.
Spontaneous nights out become a thing of the past. Your social circle might shrink, but the bonds with those who stick around will deepen. Play dates become your new form of socialising, and you’ll probably start befriending people solely because your kids get along. The highlight of your week might be a trip to the supermarket without the kids — and that’s perfectly okay.
6. You’ll worry about things you never considered before.
Suddenly, the world seems full of potential dangers. You’ll childproof your home to within an inch of its life and develop a sixth sense for hazards. The news takes on a whole new meaning as you view everything through the lens of how it might affect your child. It’s exhausting, but it comes with the territory of caring so deeply.
7. Your relationship with your partner will be tested.
Source: Unsplash Parenting puts a strain on even the strongest relationships. You’ll argue about things you never thought possible, like whose turn it is to change the nappy or the correct way to load the dishwasher. But you’ll also experience moments of profound connection as you navigate this journey together. Communication becomes more important than ever.
8. You’ll experience emotions more intensely than ever before.
The love you feel for your child is overwhelming, but so are the frustrations. You might find yourself crying at adverts or feeling rage over seemingly small incidents. The emotional rollercoaster of parenting is intense and unpredictable. It’s normal to feel everything more deeply — both the highs and the lows.
9. Your identity will shift, and it’s okay to mourn your old self.
Source: Unsplash Becoming a parent is a massive identity change. You might struggle to recognise yourself in the mirror, or yearn for aspects of your pre-parent life. It’s perfectly normal to grieve for your old identity while embracing your new role. Finding a balance between being a parent and maintaining your sense of self is an ongoing process.
10. You’ll make mistakes, and that’s alright.
No parent is perfect, despite what social media might suggest. You’ll make countless mistakes, big and small. The key is learning from them and moving forward. Remember, your kids don’t need a perfect parent; they need a present, loving one. Forgive yourself for the slip-ups and focus on doing your best.
11. Your priorities will shift dramatically.
Source: Unsplash Things that once seemed important might suddenly feel trivial. Your career goals, personal ambitions, and even your hobbies might take a back seat to your child’s needs, and the shift can be both liberating and challenging. Finding a balance between your personal aspirations and your role as a parent is an ongoing juggling act.
12. You’ll develop superhuman multitasking abilities.
Cooking dinner while helping with homework and simultaneously booking a doctor’s appointment? Just another Tuesday. You’ll surprise yourself with your ability to juggle multiple tasks at once. Your newfound skill is born out of necessity, but it’s impressive nonetheless. Just remember to give yourself a break sometimes — even superheroes need rest.
13. Your heart will live outside your body.
The love you feel for your child is unlike anything else. It’s fierce, protective, and sometimes overwhelming. You’ll understand what it means to have your heart walking around outside your body. This love brings immense joy but also vulnerability. You’ll worry more than you ever thought possible, but the rewards are immeasurable.
14. You’ll gain a new appreciation for your own parents.
As you navigate the challenges of parenting, you’ll gain a whole new perspective on your own upbringing. You might find yourself saying things your parents said, understanding their decisions better, or even calling to apologise for your teenage behaviour. Your appreciation can lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships with your own parents, and that’s pretty rewarding.
