Life can be a rollercoaster, and sometimes it feels like you’re barely hanging on.
Whether it’s work stress, relationship drama, or just the occasional insanity of everyday life, keeping your feelings in check can be a real challenge. That’s where emotional stability comes in. It doesn’t mean you can never get upset or stressed, it just means you know how to handle those feelings when they crop up. Here’s how to find a little more calm in the chaos.
1. Take a few deep breaths before reacting to stressful situations.
When you’re faced with a sudden stressor, your first instinct might be to react immediately. But taking a moment to breathe can make a world of difference. Try counting to five as you inhale slowly through your nose, then count to five again as you exhale through your mouth. This brief pause gives your brain a chance to switch out of panic mode and think more clearly. It’s a simple trick, but it can help you respond to problems more calmly and rationally, rather than just reacting on impulse.
2. Write down your thoughts when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Source: Unsplash Keeping your worries bottled up inside can make them seem bigger and scarier than they really are. Grab a notebook or open a notes app on your phone and jot down what’s stressing you out. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar — just get it all out. Once your thoughts are on paper (or screen), you might find that some of your worries aren’t as huge as they seemed in your head. Plus, seeing your concerns laid out can help you start figuring out practical steps to address them.
3. Set small, achievable goals for yourself each day.
When life feels chaotic, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by big tasks or long-term worries. Break things down into smaller, more manageable chunks. Each morning, write down three simple things you want to accomplish that day. They don’t have to be huge — maybe it’s doing the laundry, calling a friend, or going for a 10-minute walk. Ticking off these small goals gives you a sense of progress and control, even when other aspects of life feel uncertain.
4. Limit your exposure to negative news and social media.
It’s important to stay informed, but constantly scrolling through bad news or comparing yourself to other people on social media can really mess with your emotional state. Set boundaries for your news and social media consumption. Maybe check the headlines once in the morning and once in the evening, rather than throughout the day. Unfollow accounts that make you feel rubbish about yourself. Fill your feed with stuff that actually makes you feel good — cute animals, inspirational quotes, whatever floats your boat.
5. Practise gratitude by noting three good things each day.
When everything seems to be going wrong, it’s easy to forget about the good stuff in life. Each evening, take a moment to think of three positive things that happened that day. They don’t have to be big — maybe you had a really good cup of tea, or the sun was shining, or your cat did something cute. Writing these down helps train your brain to notice and appreciate the good things, even in tough times. Over time, this habit can help shift your overall outlook to be more positive.
6. Develop a simple self-care routine and stick to it.
Self-care isn’t just about fancy spa days — it’s about consistently doing small things to look after yourself. Create a basic routine that you can stick to even on busy or stressful days. Maybe it’s taking a proper lunch break away from your desk, doing a quick stretching session before bed, or spending 10 minutes reading a book you enjoy. Having these little pockets of ‘you time’ built into your day gives you moments of calm to recharge, making you better equipped to handle whatever life throws at you.
7. Learn to say no to commitments that overwhelm you.
Source: Unsplash It’s okay to turn down invitations or requests that you know will stress you out. You don’t have to attend every event or take on every task people ask of you. Practise politely declining things that don’t align with your priorities or that you simply don’t have the energy for. This might feel awkward at first, but it’s an important skill for maintaining your emotional balance. Remember, saying no to some things allows you to say yes to what really matters to you.
8. Create a calming playlist for stressful moments.
Source: Unsplash Music can have a powerful effect on our mood. Put together a playlist of songs that help you feel calm and centred. This might include relaxing instrumental tracks, upbeat tunes that never fail to boost your mood, or songs with lyrics that resonate with you. Keep this playlist handy on your phone or computer. When you feel stress creeping in, pop in your earphones and let the music help soothe your nerves. Even just a few minutes of listening can help reset your emotional state.
9. Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps.
Big projects or life changes can feel overwhelming when viewed as a whole. Instead of focusing on the entire task, break it down into smaller, more manageable steps. Write these steps down and tackle them one at a time. This approach makes progress feel more achievable and less daunting. Celebrate each small step you complete — it’s all progress towards your larger goal. This method makes tasks feel less overwhelming and gives you a sense of accomplishment along the way.
10. Establish a regular sleep routine.
Lack of sleep can wreak havoc on your emotional stability. Try to go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time each day, even on weekends. Create a relaxing bedtime routine to help you wind down — maybe reading a book, having a warm bath, or doing some gentle stretches. Avoid screens for at least an hour before bed, as the blue light can interfere with your sleep patterns. A well-rested mind is much better equipped to handle stress and maintain emotional balance.
11. Practise mindfulness in everyday activities.
Mindfulness doesn’t have to mean hours of meditation. You can practise it in small ways throughout your day. When you’re eating, focus on the taste and texture of your food. While walking, pay attention to the sensation of your feet hitting the ground. When washing up, concentrate on the feel of the water and the smell of the soap. These moments of presence can help ground you and prevent your mind from spiralling into stress or worry about the future.
12. Reach out to a friend when you’re feeling low.
Sometimes, talking things through with someone else can help put your problems into perspective. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a trusted friend when you’re struggling. You don’t need to unload all your problems — sometimes just having a chat about everyday stuff can lift your mood. If you’re not comfortable talking about your feelings, suggest doing an activity together, like going for a walk or watching a film. Social connection can be a powerful mood booster.
13. Limit caffeine and alcohol intake.
Both caffeine and alcohol can have a significant impact on your mood and emotional stability. While a morning coffee might perk you up, too much caffeine can increase anxiety and make you jittery. Similarly, while alcohol might seem to relax you in the short term, it can disrupt your sleep and lead to mood swings. Try cutting back on both and see how it affects your emotional state. Replace them with herbal teas or water — staying hydrated is great for your mood and overall health.
14. Create a ‘worry time’ to contain anxious thoughts.
If you find yourself constantly worrying throughout the day, try setting aside a specific ‘worry time’. Choose a 15-minute slot each day dedicated to thinking about your concerns. When worries pop up outside this time, jot them down to think about later. During your designated worry time, go through your list and think about possible solutions. This technique helps contain anxious thoughts and prevents them from taking over your entire day. It also often reveals that many worries are less pressing than they initially seemed.
