There’s nothing wrong with wanting to fit in or be admired in life.
We all want to feel interesting, stylish, and liked, but sometimes, someone pushes it a little too far. As a result, instead of coming across as effortlessly cool, it starts to feel… forced. Whether it’s through fashion choices, awkward slang, or trying to impress the wrong crowd, these little behaviours tend to give it away. If you’ve ever cringed at a “cool” moment that felt more performative than natural, these will sound familiar.
1. They name-drop like it’s a sport.
You’re just chatting about weekend plans, and suddenly, they’re casually mentioning their “mate who knows someone from a Netflix show” or the time they were “basically neighbours” with a minor celebrity. It’s not relevant, but it is repeated every chance they get.
Name-dropping isn’t always about status; it’s often someone trying to boost their own cool factor by proximity. The problem is, it usually has the opposite effect. Real cool people don’t need to prove their circle’s impressive. They just are.
2. They overuse trendy slang (that doesn’t quite land).
Slang is great… when it flows naturally. However, when someone’s using phrases like “it’s giving main character energy” or “I’m literally obsessed” in every other sentence—and clearly just learned them yesterday—it starts to feel a bit forced.
Language evolves, sure, but trying too hard to keep up makes people sound like they’re reading off TikTok captions. You can almost see them waiting for you to be impressed they’re “in the know.” Spoiler: You’re not.
3. Their outfit is doing a lot.
Fashion is personal, and bold choices can be brilliant. That being said, when someone’s wearing three trends at once—bucket hat, oversized sunglasses, Crocs with charms—and constantly adjusting their look for attention, it’s less self-expression, more performance.
It’s not the clothes, it’s the energy. The overconfidence mixed with subtle anxiety that says, “Please notice how effortlessly stylish I am.” Meanwhile, everyone else is just trying to find the nearest loo in peace.
4. They pretend to love stuff they clearly don’t understand.
One minute they’re raving about an obscure band, the next they can’t name a single song. Or, they’ll claim to be obsessed with vintage cinema—until someone asks a basic question, and they scramble for a vague answer. People trying to be cool often latch onto niche interests without actually enjoying them. It’s not about passion; it’s about perception. Unfortunately, it’s usually easy to tell when it’s all for show.
5. Every story ends with “…and they thought I was so cool.”
If someone’s telling stories that always circle back to how admired or envied they were, it’s a giveaway. You’ll hear phrases like “everyone was staring” or “they couldn’t believe how chill I was” every time. Cool people don’t need to say they’re cool. The moment you start announcing it, the illusion slips. Confidence is great, but storytelling that sounds like a highlight reel tends to fall flat.
6. They act too indifferent to everything.
Nothing’s ever a big deal. They’re “not bothered,” “not that into it,” or “just going with the vibe.” Of course, it’s all a bit too much detachment, like they’re afraid to show genuine interest in anything at all. That ultra-casual attitude is often a cover for insecurity. It’s easier to pretend you don’t care than to risk not being cool enough. Ironically, being excited about stuff is often what actually makes people fun to be around.
7. They take selfies in painfully obvious ways.
Watch out for the sneaky front camera check or the dramatic angle switch mid-conversation. Some people are constantly scanning for the perfect moment to snap a casual-looking-but-clearly-staged selfie. They’re not making memories; they’re curating. When someone’s more focused on how they look in a moment than actually being present, it’s usually a sign they’re trying to craft a coolness they don’t quite feel.
8. They humblebrag like it’s an Olympic event.
You know the type: “Ugh, I’m so exhausted from all the people asking me for advice” or “I just threw this together and got three compliments—so embarrassing.” It’s a compliment fishing expedition, disguised as modesty. Humblebragging is the socially acceptable way to show off, but it rarely works. People see through it, and it comes off more awkward than impressive. A genuine win doesn’t need sugar-coating or self-deprecation.
9. They constantly reference what’s “in” or “out.”
Whether it’s oat milk, microtrends, or new apps, they’ve got a running list of what’s culturally acceptable at all times—and they’re very eager to update you on it. It’s not that they actually care about the thing—they care about *knowing* it before everyone else. But chasing trends too hard can make you look out of touch with yourself, even if you’re on point with the algorithm.
10. They turn everything into a flex.
It could be as innocent as talking about lunch, and somehow it becomes, “Yeah, I only eat at places where the chef knows me.” Every normal detail is turned into a brag. Trying too hard to be cool often looks like trying to win at life in small, unnecessary ways. It’s exhausting to keep up with, and honestly, a bit exhausting to be around.
11. They exaggerate stories for dramatic effect.
That trip to the corner shop becomes “this wild night where I had to escape an awkward run-in with an ex and ended up chatting with a famous DJ.” You’re left wondering what actually happened (probably just snacks and silence). Stretching stories for impact might earn a few laughs at first, but eventually, people clock the over-the-top energy. You don’t need to be the most interesting person in every room—you just need to be real.
12. They act too cool to dance, but clearly want to.
They hover near the dance floor, nodding along with crossed arms, maybe doing a subtle foot tap, but won’t join in unless everyone begs. Even then, it’s “reluctantly,” as if they’ve been *forced* to have fun. Here’s the thing: cool isn’t about being detached—it’s about confidence. People who get over themselves and just have a good time always end up looking way cooler than the ones trying to seem unbothered in the corner.
13. They over-curate their social media vibe.
Everything is beige, moody, or #unedited (but definitely filtered). Captions are cryptic, comments are limited, and their whole profile feels like a lifestyle ad. It’s less “this is me” and more “this is what I want you to think of me.”
We all like to post nice things, but when it feels like a marketing campaign for someone’s imaginary cool alter ego, it gets a bit much. You can always tell when someone’s curating an image instead of just showing up as themselves.
