We all know boundaries are important, but sometimes we slip up without even realising it.
The problem is that with some people, if you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile, or whatever that old saying is. In layman’s terms, if you’re wishy-washy with your boundaries, you shouldn’t be surprised when people storm right past them and do whatever they want. Here are some signs you’re on a slippery slope and need to cement your limitations now, before it’s too late.
1. You’re always saying “yes” when you want to say “no.”
If you find yourself agreeing to things you don’t really want to do, your boundaries are waving a red flag. It’s okay to say no sometimes. In fact, it’s healthy! Remember, every time you say yes to something you don’t want, you’re saying no to something you might actually enjoy.
2. You’re constantly exhausted.
Feeling drained all the time? It might be because you’re stretching yourself too thin. When we don’t set proper boundaries, we end up taking on too much. Your energy levels are like a canary in a coal mine — when they’re low, it’s time to reassess your limits.
3. You’re avoiding confrontation at all costs.
If the thought of speaking up makes you break out in a cold sweat, your boundaries might be in trouble. Healthy boundaries sometimes require a bit of pushback. It’s not about being confrontational, it’s about being clear about what works for you and what doesn’t.
4. You’re feeling resentful a lot.
Resentment is often a sign that your boundaries have been crossed. If you’re harbouring negative feelings towards people because of what they’re asking of you, it might be time to draw some lines in the sand. Remember, clear boundaries lead to healthier relationships.
5. You’re always putting everyone else first.
Being kind is great, but if you’re constantly prioritising everyone else’s needs over your own, you’re in danger of boundary burnout. It’s like the oxygen mask rule on planes — you’ve got to take care of yourself first to be able to help other people more effectively.
6. You’re apologising for things that aren’t your fault.
If “I’m sorry” is your default phrase, even when you’ve done nothing wrong, your boundaries need some TLC. Over-apologising can signal that you’re taking on responsibility for things outside your control. It’s okay to empathise without taking the blame.
7. You’re letting people “borrow” your stuff without asking.
Whether it’s your car, your clothes, or your Netflix password, if people are helping themselves to your things without asking, your boundaries are getting fuzzy. It’s okay to expect people to respect your belongings and ask before using them.
8. You’re oversharing with people you barely know.
Spilling your life story to the cashier? While being open can be great, oversharing can be a sign that your personal boundaries need some work. It’s okay to keep some things private, especially with people you don’t know well.
9. You’re constantly checking your phone.
If you feel compelled to respond to every message immediately, you might be letting technology destroy your boundaries. It’s okay to unplug sometimes and respond on your own schedule. The world won’t end if you don’t reply right away.
10. You’re taking on other people’s emotions.
If you find yourself riding an emotional roller coaster based on how other people are feeling, your empathy might be overriding your boundaries. It’s good to care, but remember that you’re not responsible for managing everyone else’s emotions.
11. You’re neglecting your own needs.
Skipping meals, missing sleep, or putting off self-care? These are all signs that your boundaries need some attention. Taking care of your basic needs isn’t selfish — it’s necessary for your well-being and ability to function.
12. You’re letting people invade your personal space.
If you’re uncomfortable with how close people get to you but don’t say anything, your physical boundaries might need reinforcing. It’s okay to ask for the space you need, whether that’s physical distance or just some alone time.
13. You’re afraid of disappointing people.
If the fear of letting people down is driving your decisions, your boundaries are in danger. While it’s nice to consider other people’s feelings, you can’t live your life solely to meet everyone else’s expectations. It’s okay to disappoint people sometimes — it’s part of being human.
