Lesbian, gay, and other non-heterosexual couples still face so many unfair double standards in everyday life.
Whether it’s in public, at work, or even within their own families, things that are perfectly acceptable for straight couples are often met with judgement, discomfort, or outright hostility when a queer couple does the same. While progress has been made, for sure, these frustrating inequalities still exist. Here are just some of the things these couples are unfairly criticised for, while straight couples do them without a second thought.
1. Public displays of affection
Holding hands, sharing a quick kiss, or even just standing close together — these are everyday things for straight couples. But when same-sex couples do the same, it can attract stares, whispers, or even outright hostility. Some people claim they’re “fine with it” but don’t want to “see it,” despite never reacting to straight couples doing the same. It’s an exhausting double standard that makes even the simplest acts of affection feel like a statement.
2. Talking about their relationship
When straight couples casually mention their partner at work, in conversation, or on social media, no one bats an eye. However, queer couples are often accused of “making everything about being gay” just for doing the same. The reality is that mentioning a same-sex or non-binary partner isn’t “pushing an agenda” — it’s just talking about everyday life. But for some reason, people still react as if it’s an overshare.
3. Showing up together at family events
Bringing a partner to family gatherings is expected for straight couples, but LGBTQIA+ couples often have to deal with awkward conversations, judgemental relatives, or outright exclusion. Some families act as if bringing a same-sex or non-binary partner is a political statement rather than just, well, being in a relationship. It’s an exhausting contrast when straight siblings can bring their partners with no questions asked.
4. Getting engaged and married
Engagement announcements from straight couples are met with excitement and congratulations, but same-sex couples often receive a more mixed response. Some people still see it as “controversial,” and even well-meaning relatives may struggle to act as enthusiastically. In some cases, they’re even met with uncomfortable silence or outright disapproval. Meanwhile, straight couples can plan their weddings without worrying whether certain family members will refuse to attend.
5. Raising children
Parenting comes with scrutiny for everyone, but queer couples face added layers of judgement. Some people still hold the outdated belief that children “need” a mother and a father, despite endless evidence proving otherwise. While straight couples can raise their kids however they choose without endless commentary, LGBTQIA+ parents often find themselves having to “prove” they’re just as capable, despite countless examples of them doing exactly that.
6. Having pet names for each other
When straight couples use affectionate nicknames like “babe,” “honey,” or “love” in public, it’s seen as sweet or even cute. But gay and lesbian couples often get eye rolls, snide comments, or awkward reactions for doing the same. There’s an unfair expectation that queer relationships should be “low-key” to avoid making anyone uncomfortable. But love is love, and if pet names are acceptable for one couple, they should be for everyone.
7. Being affectionate in photos
Social media is filled with couples posting loved-up selfies, engagement pictures, and wedding photos. But LGBTQIA+ couples still risk negative comments, unwanted debates, or even shadow bans when sharing the same kind of content. While straight couples are celebrated for their relationship milestones, queer couples are often accused of “flaunting” their love when they’re just doing what everyone else does.
8. Moving in together quickly
Plenty of straight couples move in together after just a few months, and no one questions it. But if a gay or lesbian couple does the same, they’re accused of “rushing” things or being unrealistic. Queer couples often move in together faster for a reason — it can be a safety issue, an economic necessity, or simply a desire for a private space where they don’t have to deal with judgement. Either way, their decisions should be treated with the same neutrality as straight couples.
9. Going on holiday together
When straight couples book a romantic trip, no one thinks twice about it. But same-sex couples have to research whether a destination is safe, whether hotels will treat them differently, or whether they’ll have to “tone things down” in public. It’s unfair that something as simple as a holiday requires extra thought and potential risk, while straight couples get to travel freely without a second thought.
10. Wearing rings before marriage
Plenty of straight couples wear commitment rings, promise rings, or even engagement rings for years before tying the knot, and no one finds it odd. But when queer couples do the same, some people act like they need to “explain” their choice. For some, it’s a way to show commitment in a world that hasn’t always recognised their relationships. It’s just as valid as any other couple’s way of expressing love.
11. Celebrating anniversaries publicly
It’s normal for straight couples to celebrate anniversaries, post about them online, or talk about them with friends. However, LGBTQIA+ couples sometimes get pushback for doing the same, as if they’re attention-seeking in some way. In reality, they’re just marking their milestones like anyone else. No one complains when straight couples go all out for their anniversaries, so why should it be different?
12. Talking about their future together
When straight couples discuss their future plans — marriage, kids, or growing old together — no one questions it. But lesbian and gay couples sometimes get met with scepticism, as if their relationships are inherently less serious or long-term. It’s frustrating because the reality is that LGBTQIA+ relationships last just as long, face the same ups and downs, and deserve the same respect.
13. Simply existing without making anyone uncomfortable
Straight couples never have to think twice about whether they’re “too visible” in public spaces. But LGBTQIA+ couples often feel the need to assess their surroundings, read the room, and decide whether being affectionate, open, or even just standing too close might attract unwanted attention. While progress has been made, the fact that many still feel the need to adjust their behaviour based on who’s watching is proof that equality isn’t fully here yet.
