Living with undiagnosed autism can feel like constantly hitting invisible walls.
What makes it worse is that many people don’t realise that some of their everyday struggles are actually linked to being autistic. If you’ve always felt a little “different” but couldn’t quite put your finger on why, these experiences might sound familiar. If you relate to more than a few, it could be a good time to contact your GP. While these things aren’t guaranteed signs of neurodivergence, they should still be checked out by a professional, who can make a definitive diagnosis.
1. Socialising feels extremely exhausting or confusing.
You might notice that small talk, group conversations, or even one-on-one chats leave you feeling drained or confused. While everyone else seems to navigate social situations with ease, you often wonder if you’re missing some unwritten rules. The exhaustion comes from the constant effort to process social cues and expectations, which is a common experience for those with autism.
2. Making or maintaining eye contact is incredibly awkward.
Eye contact might feel uncomfortable, overwhelming, or even impossible. While most people see it as a basic part of communication, for you, it can be an intense experience that takes conscious effort. It isn’t a sign of rudeness or disinterest — it’s a common trait in autistic individuals. You might focus better on conversations when you don’t have to maintain eye contact.
3. You get sensory overload in everyday environments.
Noises, lights, textures, or smells that don’t seem to bother anyone else can leave you feeling overwhelmed. Busy environments like supermarkets, restaurants, or offices might feel chaotic and unbearable. The heightened sensitivity to sensory input is a typical aspect of autism. What other people consider minor annoyances can be intense for you.
4. You often struggle to pick up on or understand sarcasm or subtle humour.
You might take things literally or struggle to understand jokes, sarcasm, or irony. While other people laugh at subtle humour, you’re left feeling puzzled or out of the loop. It isn’t because you lack intelligence or humour; it’s simply because autistic people often process language differently. Clear, straightforward communication is often easier to follow.
5. You need routines and predictability to feel sane.
Changes to your daily schedule might throw you off completely, making you feel anxious or irritable. You might have strict routines and rituals that help you feel safe and in control. Your need for predictability is a common feature of autism. While everyone else might enjoy spontaneity, for you, unexpected changes can be deeply unsettling.
6. You’re not great with small talk or “surface-level” conversations.
Chit-chat about the weather or weekend plans can feel pointless or painfully awkward. You might prefer deep, meaningful discussions or talking about specific interests. Many autistic people find small talk exhausting because it lacks the structure and purpose they prefer in conversations. It’s not that you dislike people — you just value different types of communication.
7. You have intense focus on specific interests.
You might have hobbies or interests that you can get lost in for hours, diving deep into details that other people might not find interesting. These “special interests” are a common feature of autism and can bring you joy and comfort. While everyone else might see it as obsessive, your focused passion is a way to engage with the world in a fulfilling way.
8. You find it hard to read body language or facial expressions.
You may struggle to understand what people are feeling based on their gestures, tone, or expressions. While most people seem to instinctively pick up on these cues, you might feel like you’re guessing or missing out. It can make socialising tricky and lead to misunderstandings. It’s not a lack of empathy — it’s just that your brain processes these signals differently.
9. You always feel like you’re “masking” your true self.
You might spend a lot of energy trying to imitate the behaviours and mannerisms of those around you to fit in. This is known as masking, and it can be exhausting. Many autistic people mask to avoid standing out, but over time, it can lead to burnout and a loss of identity. The constant effort to “act normal” can be draining, even if you don’t realise you’re doing it.
10. Filtering out background noise isn’t easy.
In busy places, you might struggle to focus on a conversation because every sound seems equally loud and intrusive. While everyone else can tune out background noise, your brain processes it all at once, which can make restaurants, crowded rooms, or public transport overwhelming. It’s not a lack of attention — it’s a common sensory processing challenge for autistic people.
11. You feel emotionally overwhelmed and shut down easily.
Strong emotions — whether they’re your own or someone else’s — can feel overwhelming. You might experience emotional “meltdowns” or need to withdraw to recover. This isn’t you being dramatic or cold; it’s your brain protecting itself from overload. Recognising this can help you manage your emotions more compassionately.
12. You’re often told you’re “too blunt” or “too honest.”
You might say things directly, without the filters or social niceties people expect. While you’re just being honest, people might see it as rudeness. Your straightforwardness is common in autistic people, who often value truth over social etiquette. Being direct isn’t a flaw — it’s a reflection of how you process and communicate information.
13. Unexpected changes or surprises really throw you.
Last-minute changes to plans or sudden surprises can leave you feeling anxious or irritated. While other people might roll with the punches, you need time to process and adjust. Struggling with unpredictability is a core part of autism. Knowing what to expect helps you feel more secure and prepared, and that’s perfectly okay.
