Finding out that someone you trusted betrayed you is like a punch to the gut, and it can be hard to recover from.
However, their betrayal doesn’t have to (and really shouldn’t) destroy you inside. While it’s important to acknowledge how their behaviour affected you, it’s equally as vital to look after yourself and make sure you’re not making it even harder on yourself. Here’s how to move forward in a healthier way.
1. Let yourself feel your feelings.
Don’t try to bottle up your feelings or pretend you’re not hurt. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or betrayed. It’s important to grieve the loss of trust and process your emotions in a healthy way. Cry, journal, or talk to a trusted friend or therapist about how you’re feeling.
2. Set boundaries with the person who betrayed you.
Depending on the severity of the betrayal and your relationship with the person, you might need to establish some boundaries. This could mean limiting contact, avoiding certain topics of conversation, or even taking a break from the relationship altogether. It’s important to prioritise your own well-being and protect yourself from further hurt.
3. Focus on self-care.
When you’re feeling emotionally drained, it’s crucial to take care of yourself. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, and exercising regularly. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax, such as reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature.
4. Talk to someone you trust.
Sharing your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can be incredibly cathartic. They can offer support, understanding, and a listening ear. Sometimes, just talking about what happened can help you gain perspective and start to heal.
5. Practice forgiveness, even if it’s just for yourself.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning the betrayal or forgetting what happened. It’s about releasing the anger and resentment that’s holding you back from moving forward. Forgiving the person who betrayed you, even if it’s just in your own heart, can help you find peace and closure.
6. Focus on the future, not the past.
It’s easy to get stuck dwelling on the past and replaying the events of the betrayal. But focusing on the past will only keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and negativity. Instead, try to shift your focus to the future and the possibilities that lie ahead. What can you learn from this experience? How can you grow stronger and wiser?
7. Rebuild your trust in people slowly and cautiously.
After being betrayed, it’s natural to feel hesitant about trusting people again, but don’t let one bad experience taint your view of everyone. Start by rebuilding trust with people who have proven themselves to be reliable and supportive. Take things slow and be mindful of any red flags that might indicate potential betrayal.
8. Find healthy ways to express your anger.
It’s okay to be angry after being betrayed. But instead of lashing out or trying to get revenge, find healthy ways to express your anger. Exercise, write in a journal, or talk to a therapist about your feelings. Channelling your anger into productive outlets can help you release it in a healthy way.
9. Don’t blame yourself.
It’s common to feel like you did something wrong or that you could have prevented the betrayal. But remember, the other person’s actions are their responsibility, not yours. Don’t internalise their behaviour or blame yourself for what happened. You deserve love and respect, and you shouldn’t feel responsible for someone else’s choices.
10. Learn from the experience.
Every experience, even a painful one, can teach us something valuable. Reflect on the betrayal and try to identify any red flags or warning signs that you might have missed. This can help you make more informed choices about who you trust and how you build relationships in the future.
11. Focus on your own growth and development.
Use this experience as an opportunity to focus on your own growth and development. Invest in yourself, pursue your passions, and build a life that you’re proud of. The stronger and more confident you become, the less power the betrayal will have over you.
12. Work with a therapist if you’re really struggling.
If you’re struggling to cope with the betrayal on your own, don’t hesitate to book yourself into therapy or counselling. A therapist can provide you with the tools and support you need to navigate this difficult time and emerge stronger on the other side.
13. Remember that time heals all wounds.
It sounds cliché, but it really is true. Healing from betrayal takes time, and it’s okay to not be okay right now. Be patient with yourself, let yourself grieve, and trust that with time and self-care, the pain will lessen. You’ll emerge from this experience stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever before.
