Kids are adorable, chaotic, and often unpredictable.
While some people have an innate knack for handling little ones, others… not so much. Whether you’re the parent, the cool aunt, or the family friend, here are 13 hilariously awkward signs you might not exactly be a kid whisperer. That doesn’t mean you can’t improve your skills, but let’s just say it doesn’t come naturally to you.
1. You freeze when a baby cries.
When the tears start flowing, you find yourself rooted in place, unsure whether to pick them up, sing a song, or call for backup. Your discomfort only makes the baby cry harder, which sends you into an even bigger panic. Deep down, you’re hoping someone else swoops in to save the day.
2. You speak to kids like they’re adults.
Instead of using playful tones or simple words, you find yourself launching into detailed explanations about politics or the stock market. The kids stare blankly, then wander off mid-sentence, leaving you questioning your approach. Your conversational instincts just aren’t built for the under-10 crowd.
3. You’re terrified of breaking them.
Every time you hold a baby, you look like you’re cradling a fragile piece of glass. Your stiff posture and terrified face make everyone else in the room more nervous than you are. The thought of them suddenly moving or wriggling sends your anxiety into overdrive.
4. You can’t decipher their “art.”
Source: Unsplash When a child proudly hands you their latest masterpiece, you squint and guess, “Is it… a cat?” only to be met with, “No, it’s a spaceship.” Your follow-up guesses don’t go any better, leaving the child disappointed and you awkwardly nodding at their “genius.” You eventually resort to a safe, “Wow, it’s amazing!” every time.
5. You avoid eye contact with toddlers.
Toddlers have a way of staring right into your soul, and you’re not sure how to handle it. Instead of engaging, you awkwardly glance at the floor or pretend to check your phone. Their silent, intense gaze leaves you wondering what they’re plotting.
6. You try to reason with tantrums.
When a child is mid-meltdown, you calmly explain why screaming about not getting candy isn’t productive. This, of course, only makes the tantrum worse, leaving you muttering, “Well, that didn’t work,” as everyone else watches the chaos unfold. You’re left wondering if tantrums have their own logic that you’ll never understand.
7. You forget their names—constantly.
Source: Unsplash If you’re dealing with a group of kids, you can’t seem to keep track of who’s who. “Hey, you! Uh, little guy!” becomes your default, much to the confusion of the children and amusement of the adults nearby. You start hoping they’ll respond to a cheerful wave instead.
8. You panic when they ask random questions.
“Why is the sky blue?” or “Where do babies come from?” sends you into a spiral of overthinking. You either give an answer that’s too complicated or so vague it raises more questions. You eventually redirect the conversation to something safer, like their favourite colour.
9. You’re awkward with imaginary games.
Source: Unsplash When a child tells you to “pretend you’re a dragon,” you flail your arms and roar, only to be corrected: “Dragons don’t do that.” Your attempts at creativity fall flat, and the kids take over while you quietly retreat. You’re left wondering how they come up with these elaborate rules.
10. You offer snacks they hate.
You think you’re being the hero by offering celery sticks or raisins, only to be met with grimaces and “Ew!” You quickly learn that kids have their own snack hierarchy, and you’re nowhere near understanding it. After a few failed attempts, you stick to safe bets like cookies or chips.
11. You talk about bedtime way too early.
Source: Unsplash “Isn’t it getting late?” you ask at 6 PM, hoping to wrap up the play date. The kids look at you like you’ve lost your mind, and the parents remind you that bedtime isn’t for another three hours. Your internal clock just doesn’t align with their boundless energy.
12. You dread messy activities.
Source: Unsplash Finger painting? Baking cookies? Anything involving glitter? You’re already imagining the clean-up before the fun even starts. You might try to steer kids toward quieter, less chaotic activities, but they’re not buying it. Every glitter speck feels like a personal attack on your sense of order.
13. You overthink kid hugs.
When a kid runs up for a hug, you freeze, unsure of how much enthusiasm to show. Should you lift them up, pat their back, or just awkwardly lean down? By the time you decide, they’ve already run off, leaving you confused and relieved. You vow to get it right next time, but the cycle repeats.
