After a breakup, we’ve all found ourselves staring at our phones, fingers hovering over the keyboard, tempted to send that one last text message begging for another chance.
But deep down, you know that clinging to false hope isn’t the path to healing. Finding closure is a messy, emotional journey, but it’s a necessary one if you want to move on and create space for new beginnings. It’s time to put the phone down and find some healthier ways to find closure and finally let go of that “please come back” text.
1. Allow yourself to feel all the feels.
Source: Unsplash Don’t bottle up your emotions. Let yourself cry, scream, or wallow in self-pity (in moderation, of course!). It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or heartbroken. These emotions are valid, and suppressing them will only prolong your healing process. Find healthy outlets for your emotions, like talking to a friend, journaling, or listening to music that resonates with your feelings. Remember, it’s okay to not be okay.
2. Don’t try to erase the past.
We all wish we could hit the delete button on certain memories, but that’s not how life works. Trying to erase the past only makes it harder to move on. Instead, acknowledge the good times and the bad. Learn from your experiences, both the positive and the negative. Remember that every relationship, even the ones that end, teaches us something valuable about ourselves and what we want in life. Embrace the past as part of your journey, and it will become easier to let go.
3. Write a letter you never send.
Get all your feelings out on paper. Write a heartfelt letter to your ex, expressing everything you wish you could say. Vent your frustrations, pour out your love, or simply say goodbye. Don’t hold back. Once you’re finished, burn the letter, shred it, or simply delete it. The act of writing can be incredibly cathartic and help you release pent-up emotions. It’s a symbolic way of saying goodbye and letting go of the past.
4. Create a new routine.
One of the hardest things about a break-up is the disruption of your daily routine. To regain a sense of normalcy and control, create a new routine that fills your days with activities you enjoy. Take up a new hobby, reconnect with old friends, or simply spend more time doing things that make you happy. This will not only distract you from your heartache but also help you rediscover your passions and interests. A new routine can be a fresh start and a way to reclaim your independence.
5. Don’t isolate yourself.
While alone time is essential for healing, don’t completely shut yourself off from the world. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who uplift you and make you laugh. Talk to them about your feelings, or simply enjoy their company. Spending time with loved ones can remind you that you’re not alone and that you have people who care about you. It’s also a great way to distract yourself from dwelling on the past and focus on the present.
6. Focus on self-care.
During times of emotional upset, it’s easy to neglect yourself. Make a conscious effort to prioritise self-care. Get enough sleep, eat nutritious meals, exercise regularly, and do things that bring you joy and relaxation. Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is important for healing and moving on. When you feel good about yourself, you’re more resilient and better equipped to handle life’s challenges.
7. Set boundaries and stick to them.
If you’re trying to move on from a relationship, it’s important to set clear boundaries with your former partner. This might mean unfollowing them on social media, avoiding places where you might bump into them, or simply limiting contact. It’s okay to say no to things that trigger painful memories or make you feel uncomfortable. Setting boundaries is a way of protecting yourself and creating space for healing. It’s a sign of strength and self-respect.
8. Forgive yourself and your ex.
Staying angry and resentful will only weigh you down. Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning their actions or forgetting what happened. It simply means releasing yourself from the burden of negativity. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you might have made, and forgive your ex for the pain they caused. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It allows you to let go of the past and move forward with a lighter heart.
9. Consider seeing a therapist or counsellor.
If you’re struggling to cope with the aftermath of a break-up, don’t hesitate to get in touch with someone trained to help. A therapist or counsellor can provide a safe space for you to explore your emotions, process your grief, and develop healthy coping mechanisms. They can offer guidance and support as you navigate the complex journey of healing and moving on. Therapy can be a valuable tool for gaining insight into your patterns, behaviours, and needs, empowering you to make positive changes in your life.
10. Focus on the present and future.
While it’s important to acknowledge the past, don’t let it consume you. Instead, shift your focus to the present moment and all the possibilities the future holds. Set new goals, pursue your dreams, and create a life that excites you. The more you invest in your own happiness and well-being, the less power the past will have over you. Embrace the present as a fresh start and a chance to build the life you’ve always wanted.
11. Try to practise gratitude, as hard as it can be.
Even in the midst of heartbreak, there’s always something to be grateful for. Take time each day to reflect on the positive aspects of your life. It could be as simple as appreciating a walk with your dog, a matcha latte, or a text from a friend. Gratitude shifts your focus from what you’ve lost to what you still have. It reminds you of the abundance in your life and helps you cultivate a positive outlook, even during difficult times.
12. Be patient with yourself.
Healing takes time, and there’s no set timeline for moving on from a break-up. Don’t pressure yourself to “get over it” quickly. Allow yourself the space and time to grieve, process your emotions, and rediscover your strength. Some days will be easier than others, and that’s okay. Be kind to yourself, practice self-compassion, and celebrate every small victory along the way. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. With time, patience, and self-love, you will heal and find closure.
