Before you have kids, you think you know what parenting is all about.
You’ve read the books, watched the documentaries, and listened to your friends’ stories. But the truth is, there are some things about parenting that you can only really understand once you’re in the thick of it yourself. No amount of theoretical knowledge can prepare you for the reality of raising tiny humans who are entirely dependent on you for their survival and well-being. If you’re a new parent or considering taking the plunge, here are 11 things that will become crystal clear once you’ve got a little one of your own.
1. Sleep is a precious commodity.
Before you have kids, you take sleep for granted. You go to bed when you’re tired, sleep until you’re rested, and wake up feeling refreshed. Once you have a baby, however, sleep becomes a rare and elusive treasure. You’ll find yourself functioning on broken snippets of rest, snatched whenever your little one decides to grace you with a few hours of slumber. You’ll develop a newfound appreciation for the restorative power of a solid eight hours, and you’ll mourn the days when you could sleep in on weekends.
2. Your body is no longer your own.
Source: Unsplash From the moment you conceive, your body becomes a shared vessel. You’ll carry your baby for nine months, feeling their every kick and hiccup. Once they’re born, you’ll be their primary source of nourishment, whether through breastfeeding or bottle-feeding. Your body will be touched, prodded, and grabbed at all hours of the day and night. You’ll have little people climbing on you, pulling your hair, and using you as a human tissue. Your physical boundaries will be thoroughly and repeatedly violated, and you’ll learn to embrace the chaos.
3. Your house will never be clean again.
Before you have kids, you might pride yourself on your tidy home and your ability to keep things in their place. Once you have children, however, you’ll realise that a clean house is a pipe dream. No matter how often you tidy up, there will always be toys scattered across the floor, sticky handprints on the walls, and mysterious stains on the furniture. You’ll learn to embrace the mess and focus on creating a warm, loving environment for your family, even if it’s not picture-perfect.
4. You’ll worry about everything.
Source: Unsplash As a parent, your capacity for worry will expand exponentially. You’ll fret about everything from your baby’s breathing patterns to their developmental milestones to their future prospects. You’ll lie awake at night, imagining all the ways they could come to harm, and you’ll second-guess every decision you make. You’ll realise that the weight of responsibility for another human life is heavier than anything you’ve ever carried before, and you’ll learn to take things one day at a time.
5. Your heart will expand in ways you never thought possible.
Source: Unsplash Before you have kids, you might think you know what love is. But the love you feel for your child is a different beast entirely. It’s a fierce, primal, all-consuming love that takes your breath away and brings you to your knees. You’ll find yourself marvelling at their tiny toes and their gummy smiles, and you’ll be amazed at the depth of emotion they inspire in you. Your heart will expand to accommodate this new love, and you’ll never be the same again.
6. You’ll develop superhuman abilities.
Source: Unsplash As a parent, you’ll find yourself developing skills and abilities you never knew you had. You’ll be able to change a nappy in the dark, with one hand, while half-asleep. You’ll be able to interpret your baby’s cries and know instinctively whether they’re hungry, tired, or in need of a cuddle. You’ll be able to function on minimal sleep, maximum caffeine, and sheer willpower. You’ll become a multitasking ninja, able to simultaneously cook dinner, help with homework, and break up sibling squabbles without breaking a sweat.
7. Your social life will change drastically.
Source: Unsplash Before you have kids, your social life revolves around your own interests and schedules. You can go out with friends on a whim, stay up late, and sleep in the next day. Once you have children, however, your social life will be dictated by their needs and routines. You’ll find yourself turning down invitations to nights out in favour of early bedtimes and family-friendly activities. Your friendships will shift and evolve as you navigate this new stage of life, and you’ll learn to cherish the moments of adult conversation and connection when you can get them.
8. You’ll appreciate your own parents in a whole new way.
Source: Unsplash Once you become a parent yourself, you’ll gain a whole new appreciation for your own parents and everything they did for you. You’ll realise the sacrifices they made, the love they poured into you, and the challenges they faced. You’ll find yourself calling them for advice, commiserating over shared experiences, and marvelling at their patience and resilience. You’ll see them in a new light, not just as your parents, but as fellow warriors in the trenches of parenthood.
9. You’ll learn to let go of perfection.
Before you have kids, you might have a vision of the perfect parent you want to be. You’ll have ideas about how you’ll discipline, how you’ll feed them, and how you’ll shape their character. Once you’re actually in the throes of parenting, however, you’ll realise that perfection is an illusion. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll lose your cool, and you’ll do things differently than you planned. You’ll learn to embrace the messiness and imperfection of real life, and you’ll give yourself grace as you navigate the ups and downs of parenthood.
10. You’ll discover reserves of strength and resilience you never knew you had.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It requires a level of physical, emotional, and mental strength that can be daunting at times. But as you rise to the challenges of each day, you’ll discover reserves of strength and resilience you never knew you had. You’ll find yourself pushing through exhaustion, handling tantrums with grace, and advocating for your child with fierce determination. You’ll learn that you’re capable of more than you ever imagined, and that you have what it takes to be the parent your child needs.
11. You’ll experience a love that defies description.
Perhaps the most profound thing you’ll understand about parenting once you have kids is the depth and intensity of the love you feel for them. It’s a love that transcends words, that fills every cell of your being, and that drives you to be the best version of yourself. You’ll find yourself marvelling at the miracle of their existence, and you’ll be humbled by the awesome responsibility of shaping their lives. You’ll know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you would do anything, sacrifice anything, to keep them safe and happy. And you’ll understand, in a way you never could before, the true meaning of unconditional love.
Parenting is a wild, wonderful, and sometimes terrifying journey that can only be fully understood through first-hand experience.
It will stretch you in ways you never imagined, and it will teach you things about yourself and the world that you never knew before. But through all the sleepless nights, the endless worries, and the daily challenges, you’ll find a love and a purpose that makes it all worthwhile. So if you’re a new parent or considering taking the plunge, know that you’re in for the ride of your life — and that you have the strength, the resilience, and the love to handle whatever comes your way.
